Thursday, October 15, 2009

Week 6 Review/Week 7 Preview

Week 6 Review: Sweet Home Iowa

Location: The parents' house, Iowa. It was nice, and relaxing, to be back home.

Iowa: Beat Michigan. Look, I wish I had more time to expound on this, but basically, my hate for Michigan has grown tremendously in the past two years. To paraphrase the chief of police in Malibu: I don't like their jerkoff coach, I don't like their jerkoff freshman QB, I don't like their jerkoff helmets, I don't like them ... jerkoffs.

So it was tremendously relieving to beat Michigan under any circumstances, much less a nationally televised game at Kinnick Stadium.

Suck it, retards.

ND: had a bye.

Pick Six: Texas dropped a point, edged out by Bama. Oh well, I should get that point back with a win over Oklahoma in the Red River Shootout. Meanwhile, OSU, Georgia Tech and Nebraska benefitted from good-looking wins. I'm sure the bread tasted fantastic? (UCLA did itself no favors, losing to the Quackheads.) Quigley had two losses in LSU and Ole Miss. TM pretty much held steady, with the appearance of Notre Dame noteworthy and adding a single point to her total.

We're halfway home, people, and here are your standings: MPF 68, TM 58, Quigley 52.

National: Six weeks in, I think we can safely declare these teams Not As Good As We Thought (NAGAWT):

Georgia (3-3)
Ole Miss (3-2)
Florida State (2-4)
Illinois (1-4) ... keep in mind, I expected them to be .500 at best so I'm really not piling on by listing them here, sorry Sarah
Colorado (1-4)

This picture is from two weeks ago. But holy shit, can you imagine a photograph of a guy MORE likely to get fired at the end of the year?

Grudging Respect Given To (GRGT):

Auburn (5-1)
Wisconsin (5-1)
Real Miami (4-1)
Los Quackos (5-1)
Washington (3-3)
West Virginia (4-1)

And hey, lookee who's 4-2:

Phil called it.

Week 7: The Rivalry of the Year

Notre Dame: Plays Southern California. You may be aware of this. You may be looking forward to the oldest, most tradition-heavy intersectional rivalry in the United States of America.

And now, courtesy of our friends at Blue-Gray Sky, read this cringeable stat:

More than SC's strong stats and deep depth chart is the unavoidable fact that the past few years worth of matchups have been a horror show of Irish ineptitude. The players and staff just don't know what it is like to experience success against Southern Cal. I can think of no better way to sum it up than with this unfortunately 100% true statement:

70% of the scholarship players on Notre Dame's roster were not a part of the program the last time Notre Dame scored a touchdown against Southern Cal.

Re-read that statement a few times and you might find yourself looking to make other plans for Saturday.

And if that wasn't bad enough, I made the mistake of looking at the website for AWWLIS (the Alleged Worldwide Leader In Sports), you may know them by the more familar Entertainment and Sports Programming Network, to learn this stat: since 1992, the cumulative score is Southern Cal 284, ND 95.

The 2006 game was 44-24. The most points SC has given up this year is 16. While those two stats seem incongruous, I'm expecting a 2006-like result.

If this were* an editorial cartoon instead of a LOLcat, the cat would be labeled "S.C. Defense."

Iowa: Plays Wisconsin in Madison at 11am. Now, I was looking at the rankings this week, and the AP has Florida at No. 1. But Florida is only 5-0, whereas Iowa is 6-0. That's better, right? Why aren't the Hawkeyes ranked above the Gators?

Pick Six: Big games for Texas (Q and MPF) and Georgia Tech (MPF) headline the slate. Oh, and the Irish (TM) vs. Southern California.

I'll be following the flowchart. Won't you join me? (in spirit if not literally. The couch ain't that big.)

* -- Occasional proper grammar use is at the sole discretion of the blog proprietor.

1 comment:

sodeh said...

Is it basketball season yet??