Friday, July 16, 2010

News Roundup, All-Star Break Version

We just completed the Midsummer Classic. I pulled these All-Star stories off the news wire. --MPF.

All-Star Game 'Counts' for Just 6% of National League
ANAHEIM, Calif. (AP) - Despite Major League Baseball's advertisements that "this time" the All-Star Game "counts," 94% of the victorious National League couldn't care about the exhibition's outcome.

"It counts, huh?" asked Diamondbacks outfielder Chris Young, whose team is 17.5 games out of first place. "Counts for what? I'm pretty sure nothing changes for me."

Marlon Byrd of the Chicago Cubs concurred. "Umm, yeah, our league won. That's nice." Byrd, who drew a walk and scored from first on Brian McCann's double, said he "probably would not" notice the home field advantage of the National League in the 2010 World Series.

Nervous Relatives Checking on Yogi Berra 5 Times a Day
NEW YORK (AP) - Hall of Famer Yogi Berra, age 85, has been receiving near-constant attention from family members in recent days, his neighbors reported.

"No reason," stammered Jodi Weise, 34, granddaughter of the Yankees legend, as she shoved a copy of the New York Daily News with obituaries of Bob Sheppard and George Steinbrenner into her purse. "He's just, you know, my grandpa. And um, he's old. And, you know, we love him."

Other relatives insisted that bad luck does not happen in threes, and that they were going to Yankees Stadium this week "just for the game" and not any pregame ceremonies involving recent losses to the organization.

Berra, when reached for comment, said: "It's ain't over til ... fat lady .... or ... where's that duck, now? Isn't that his line?"

MLB Nicknames Stephen Strasburg 'Lebron'
WASHINGTON (AP) - Commissioner Bud Selig announced Friday that Major League Baseball had decided on "Lebron" as the nickname for Nationals phenom pitcher Stephen Strasburg.

"Everytime I logged on to AOL, my News Alerts kept coming up with Lebron this, Lebron that. This Lebron thing is obviously very hot. And Strasburg is hot." Senior MLB officials said off the record that other nicknames Selig considered were "Twilight," "Britney," "Mad Men" and "BP."

Selig added that the nickname wasn't final, however.

"I need to figure out if it's LEBB-rin, or Leh-BRAWN. And if it's the latter, we need to translate what the bron means in French. This is America's game, after all."

Strasburg, 20, reportedly rolled his eyes when informed by Manager Jim Riggleman and quietly asked, "Can I just go pitch, please?"

Trivia Question During All-Star Game Stumps Girardi
ANAHEIM, Calif. (AP) - Trivia master and baseball commentator Tim McCarver scored another win Tuesday, when he baffled AL Manager Joe Girardi with a question about a player's living arrangements.

"It was great," said McCarver, as he basked in his minor-knowledge supremacy after stumping Girardi, who had been occupied managing in the middle of the All-Star Game. "I asked him who Cliff Lee, now with the Texas Rangers, but previously with the Seattle Mariners, rented a house from while in Seattle. Because, you know, those are both American League teams, and he was the American League manager."

When informed the answer was former Mariner and current Philadelphia Phillie Jamie Moyer, the Yankee skipper said, "Huh."

McCarver declined to ask Girardi a Moyer-related follow-up question, such as who is his famous father-in-law, because, McCarver said, "Everybody knows the answer is Digger Phelps."

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