Shower Cat (A Story)

Friends, let me tell you a little secret about cats. One of many great things about cats is that they clean themselves. Every single cat we've had has been the self-cleaning type--in fact, I've always gone to great care to select the deluxe model of housecat with that feature added. If you're gonna get a cat, I say, you might as well spring for all the bells and whistles. It's so great to not have to worry about giving a kitty a bath, like with messy dogs, or how--

Oh! Hello there kitty. What are you doing in the shower? Silly kitty, you can clean yourself. In fact, I was just talking about how great it is that kitties don't need to take a bath...they clean themselves! Yup, just pull out that rough textured tongue, a generous supply of saliva from those glands Mother Nature gave ya, and wash away. Many times a day if needed! Boy, if I had a nickel for every time a cat of mine just up and stopped what he was doing to give himself a quick --

Oh, need some private time, I see. Okay, well, ahh, I guess I'll just leave you alone, let you do your thing, as they say. ... Say, little fella, do you know how to operate this here contraption? I mean, your species, they generally do this kind of thing on their own, you know what I mean. I've heard of kitties being toilet trained but this is a different thing altogether.

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Now, that same story told in LOLCats: