Time to Hang It Up, Fella

I was thumbing through the alumni notes for my undergraduate alma mater and saw something unusual. The alumni notes are not the first thing I read--in fact, this edition is dated "Fall 2008." But one of the first items, in the section for graduates of the 1930s, was this:

David Twombley FA'36, GR'68, Urbandale, IA, is now retired.

Holy hell I hope so! It's only been 72 years since he got his bachelor's degree! Is this what we, the Social-Security-paying-into generation, have to look forward to?

BEST OF MPF 2008

BEST DAY: Feb. 23. It may sound hokey, but Tina and I were at a waterpark in Wisconsin Dells. We played on the water rides, enjoyed an outdoor hot tub, had a couple nice meals, and warmed ourselves by the fireplace in our hotel room.

WORST DAY: June 12, helplessly watching KCRG’s coverage of the CR floods, via the Internet. Runner-up: Dec. 3, when I lost my job.

BEST SHOW: Wilco at the Riviera, part of a five-night stand where they played everything from their catalog (Feb. 18).

Totally awesome.

BEST RECORD: "Asking for Flowers" by Kathleen Edwards knocked me out. I kept coming back to it, and like a well-made movie, you find new things every time you revisit it: new colors, new flavors, tones and meaning. It ranges from her pissed-off defiance to humor to the achingly sad (see next item). (And the listeners of WFUV agreed.) Honorable mention: Alejandro Escovedo “Real Animal”; The Hold Steady “Stay Positive.”

BEST SONG: Maybe it was the way everything fell apart this year, or all the goodbye emails I read from laid-off Tribune employees, but the song that defined the year was the regretful, bittersweet “Viva la Vida” by Coldplay. However, the Best Song of 2008 is “Alicia Ross” by Kathleen Edwards.

When you hear the song, you want to know more. Once you know the story, you can never forget it.

BEST ARTIST: Best Album, Best Song, you guessed it … Kathleen Edwards.

BEST COVER: Blue Oyster Cult's "Burnin' for You" by the Hold Steady with Patterson Hood of Drive By Truckers on lead vocal, Nov. 14, the Riviera. (You can get a taste of it here. )

WORST COVER: Patterson Hood again, with bassist Shonna Tucker, absolutely ruined the Hold Steady’s rarely played “Chill Out Tent.”

BEST COVER OF GENIUS BY GENIUS: Neil Young’s encore performance of Lennon/McCartney’s “A Day in the Life” (Dec. 7).

BEST BLOG: Tell Zell chronicled the idiocy and mismanagement of the Sam Zell takeover, including his outright disrespect of quality journalism, until its sudden end in October. (I contributed this item here.)

BEST SPORTS BLOG: The guys at Black Heart Gold Pants did an excellent job of chronicling the year in Hawkeye sports, from the struggling hoops to off-field scandal to the resurgent football team, all with a mix of juvenile humor, JoePa spoofs and biting analysis.

BEST SINGLE PODCAST: NPR produced "The Giant Pool of Money," an hourlong explanation of the subprime mortgage crisis, told in plain English with very little jargon.

WEIRDEST CATHEDRAL: Our Lady of the Angels in Los Angeles.

BEST NEWS STORY ABOUT A CAT: It’s hard to top a wild cougar on the loose in Roscoe Village, a neighborhood about a mile away from us, in the middle of Chicago (April 15).

BEST MOVIE: I didn’t see any movies made in 2008.

BEST TV SHOW: I don’t think I watched any TV program (excludes news and sports) more than once. Maybe “Grey’s Anatomy” back in spring.

BEST ROAD TRIP: To Wisconsin, for Kelly and Josh’s wedding and the Leinenkugel’s brewery tour (July 11-13).

BEST AD: No single ad, but I liked the continuing campaigns of the Miller High Life truck driver and “I’m a Mac/I’m a PC.”

WORST AD: Perennial nominee Illinois Lottery wins again, for the “REE-play for RRR-attch-ESS!” (summer) and “C’mon Let It Snow” (winter) campaigns.

BEST PICTURE: How about me, throwing out the first pitch at a minor-league baseball game. Check out the form:

BEST CANDIDATE ON A MAJOR PARTY TICKET: Barack Obama (Senator of Illinois).

WORST CANDIDATE ON A MAJOR PARTY TICKET: Sarah Palin.

BEST FOOTBALL GAME: (tie) Notre Dame took an early lead on Michigan then cruised to a 35-17 win in the rain (Sept. 13). Shonn Greene put on a show as Iowa throttled Wisconsin 38-16 (Oct. 18).

BEST/WORST BASEBALL GAMES: Cubs playoffs games, both losses. (Oct. 1-2)

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ALMA MATER'S SPORTS TEAM: Easily, the winner is the Drake men’s basketball team, who came out of nowhere to win the Missouri Valley conference regular season and title, earning a No. 5 seed in the NCAA tournament. (Jan-March)


There it is. Let's hope and pray 2009 is a good year for you and your family. Your thoughts and comments welcome below.

--MPF004.

March Madness

Hey people, the best Thursday-Friday combo of the year is here.

No pictures of the cat, no witty captions, no 1,000 word essays about The Hold Steady, just wanted to give everyone a look at the answer key.

In fact, I am so confident, I've titled it The Answer Key. View "The Answer Key" here.

The alma maters are five seeds. Notre Dame plays tonight vs. the George Mason Patriots, and Drake plays tomorrow noonish vs. the Western Kentucky Hilltoppers. You already knew that W. Ky. has a weird, scary looking mascot. But G. Mason is right there with 'em.

Good luck with your brackets, and enjoy the Madness!

Sandwiches, Bitches.

Note: I am not in the habit of using that word to refer to the second person plural. If anything, I say "y'all."

To understand "sandwiches, bitches" you first have to read "Space, bitches."

Read it here.

(OK, anything that is even mildly complimentary to Meeechigan must be accompanied by this.)

Remember Meeechigan: You lost to THESE GUYS.

Heh heh. So that joke led into this one:

Read Part Two here.

So with that intro, I declare: sandwiches, bitches.

---

I went to a small college in the Midwest that hasn't been good in basketball since the early 1970s. They got good this year, and a fellow alum and I made a bet with two guys at work who graduated from Illinois State, not exactly a powerhouse but a good team in the same conference. The wager: the basketball game between the alma maters. The prize: a Jimmy John's sandwich.


So our school won, and we crowed a little about our impending sandwich. All had agreed in advance for a double or nothing when the two schools met again later in the season. And we won again. Two sandwiches.


Over the weekend the conference tournament happened, with my school seeded #1 and Illinois State #2. We agreed before the tourney started that if the two teams met in the tournament, there'd be another sandwich on the line. I figured hey, it's tough to beat the same team three times in one season, but worst case scenario, I come out with one sandwich.

You may have seen the game (broadcast nationally on CBS) on Sunday:

Sandwiches, bitches.

That's right. Four sandwiches. A bonus sandwich to taunt those poor suckers.

Alma Mater Saturday

Although college basketball games can be played any day of the week, they tend to fall on Wednesdays and Saturdays. (Unless your conference is subjected to television-related contrivances such as Big Monday Sponsored By Major Beer Manufacturer.)

A couple Saturdays ago, TM and I noticed that all three alma maters and my one true "home" team were all playing on the same day, and all with television and/or Internet coverage. We dubbed this "Alma Mater Saturday."

And now, a brief review of our recent Alma Mater Saturdays:

• IOWA:
  
  • Jan. 12 vs. Michigan St. This game was on TV, and amazingly, the Hawks won, 43-36.
  • Jan. 19 @Michigan. A bad Iowa team beat a bad Michigan team, 68-60, and prompted this post.
  • Jan. 26 vs. Penn State. On Big Ten Network, and another Iowa win, 64-49.
  • Feb. 2 vs. Ohio St. On Big Ten Network. Iowa gets revenge for a tremendous ass-whupping received earlier in the season, and beats the Bucks 53-48.
  • Feb. 9 @Minnesota. Lost, 63-50. Oh well. Every game this team wins is a blessing from above, like little kisses from angels. (Yes, they are pretty bad, but I will give them credit: they have shown improvement over the course of the year, something that NEVER happened under Steve-O.)
    
• ND:
  
  • Jan. 12 @Marquette. A total beatdown; I could barely watch. After the 92-66 loss, Mike Brey asked, essentially, are you sure this only counts as one in the loss column? 'Cause it felt like two.
  • Jan. 19 @Georgetown. The tour of pain continues with an 84-65 loss.
  • Jan. 26 @Villanova. This was an early, 11am TV game. Luckily, the Irish decide to win one on the road, 90-80.
  • Feb. 2 vs. DePaul. A noonish start, televised in the Chicago area of course, and another home win. The score is awfully similar to last week: 89-80.
  • Feb. 9 vs. Marquette. ND eked out an exciting win, 86-83, despite refusing to play defense in the final minute or so. ("Hey, let's allow them to make an uncontested layup. That'll take time off the clock!")
    
• DRAKE: (we listen to as many of these games as we can on the radio. The announcers are decidely minor league, but Dolph Pulliam is at least entertaining. I've called him the Ron Santo of Drake: "1960s legend who has stuck around the program, fan favorite, but has no business in a radio booth." Feinstein called that analogy "perfect." I'm impressed he knew it was an analogy, not a simile or metaphor or allegory or whatnot.)
  
  • Jan. 12 vs. Missouri State. Winner, 65-54
  • Jan. 19 vs. Illinois State. Winner, 79-73
  • Jan. 26 vs. Northern Iowa. Winner, 58-54
  • Feb. 2 @Indiana State. Winner, 83-77
  • Feb. 9 vs. Evansville. Winner, 73-65
    
• OHIO:
  
  • Jan. 12 vs. Miami Ohio. Winner, 72-63
  • Jan. 19 vs. Kent State. Winner, 71-59
  • Jan. 26 vs. Ball State. Winner, 61-59
  • Feb. 2 @Northern Illinois. Winner, 73-55
  • Feb. 9 vs. Western Michigan. Winner, 57-54

Alas, all good things come to an end. Wednesday night ("Alma Mater Wednesday" doesn't sound as good, and neither were the results) the three degree-granting institutions laid an egg. Ohio lost to Toledo, No. 20 ranked Notre Dame lost at No. 17 ranked Connecticut, and the Drake Bulldogs lost their 21-game winning streak when they fell at Southern Illinois. Drake will now slink back to the far corners of the sports consciousness, left only with the warm memories of once being the 15th-best team in the whole United States. Iowa happened to play last night instead of Wednesday, and true to form, lost as well. Bah. When does baseball start?