Kitten No Longer Cutest Thing In House

Palatine, Ill. (AP) -- Franklin, an 11-month-old kitten, was replaced Friday as the Cutest Thing in his house, according to suburban household sources.

Franklin had held the Cutest Thing title since this photo from summer last year.

The grey striped kitten has reigned as the Cutest Thing in his house since being adopted in June 2011. But a new arrival, brought home Friday, has relegated Franklin to second place.

The new Cutest Thing has yet to make a statement to the press, beyond jagged screams and occasional gurgles, which have been confirmed as the cutest thing ever, or at least since that little grey kitten. Household cats had suspected a change was coming, because the new arrival merited its own room, whereas the cats slept throughout the house but without a dedicated spot.

Experts predict that not even putting a sports cap on the kitty can help him regain the title.

Franklin had maintained his iron grip on title of Cutest Thing with such actions as cuddling in laps, furiously chasing toys and his silly attraction to water. However, the new Cutest Thing has overtaken the cat by doing little more than sleeping. The kitten attempted to plead for attention, noting that he is smaller (approx. 5 pounds vs. 8 pounds for the new thing) and covered in soft fur. The meows were acknowledged and dismissed as the people hovered over the new Cutest Thing.

"Oh, Franklin is cute, you know," said one person close to the situation. "But he's getting bigger, he's almost an adult kitty now ... and look at this little one! Oh yes, wook at dis widdle one!"

Luckily, no kitties have to move out to make room for the new one.

News of the arrival of the Cute Queen spread quickly, with visitors arriving from out of state, and many more expected over the coming months. Despite being only a few days old, the Cutest Thing is already planning a tour this summer to display her household-dominating cuteness to the Midwestern region of the U.S.

The prior Cutest Thing in the House, 8-year-old Quigley B. Katt, was unavailable for comment as he was sulking under a bed.

Franklin might disagree, but THIS is cute.

BEST OF MPF 2011

BEST DAY: July 1, the day we got medical confirmation that we are pregnant with our first child (due late February). Runner-up: Six days earlier, on June 25, we adopted a kitten named Franklin.

BEST ALBUM: The two-disc compilation “The Bridge School Concerts 25th Anniversary Edition.”

BEST SONG: “Rolling in the Deep” by Adele. Runner-up: “Discoverer” by R.E.M.

WORST TITLE FOR AN OTHERWISE DECENT SONG: “Every Teardrop Is a Waterfall” by Coldplay.

BEST CONCERT: Robert Plant at Ravinia (June 16). Runners-up: The Hold Steady at the Metro (Aug. 25), Scott Miller at Schubas (Nov. 9).

NOT BEST DAY OR BEST CONCERT SO I GUESS IT GETS ITS OWN CATEGORY: The Dave Matthews Band Caravan (July 10), a daylong music festival at the old US Steel site on the South Side’s lakeshore. We saw Emmylou Harris, the Jayhawks, Sharon Jones and the Dap-Kings, David Gray, Flaming Lips and DMB.

BEST PICTURE: Keeping with the theme of new additions, I think I’ll go with these two:

The 20-week ultrasound.

Franklin's first day home.

BEST OPENING ACT: Nick Lowe (for Wilco, Dec. 12 at the Civic Opera House). Runner-up: Big Head Todd and the Monsters (for John Hiatt at Ravinia).

BEST COVER: I saw many cool versions this year, but the winner is the Flaming Lips doing Pink Floyd's “Dark Side of the Moon” at DMB Caravan. Runners-up include “Secret Agent Man” by the Gin Blossoms (Frontier Days in Arlington Heights, July 1) and Big Head Todd and the Monsters’ "America the Beautiful" (Ravinia, on the 10th anniversary of Sept. 11).

The magical weirdness of the Flaming Lips. (click to see detail)

BEST NEW VENUE: We finally saw a show at Lincoln Hall (Old 97’s, July 20) and enjoyed the intimate space with great sightlines.

BEST VACATION/BEST WAY TO WATCH A BEARS GAME: Our Caribbean cruise/the big screen by the pool deck, wearing shorts in winter (Jan. 23-30).

BEST AD: I don't always watch commercials. But when I do, I prefer the Most Interesting Man in the World (Dos Equis).

I actually saw this one before it was released, as part of focus group testing. The cat on the table was my favorite part.

WORST AD: I covered my ears when I heard the incessant earworms of State Farm’s “get to a better state” radio jingles. I also hated AT&T’s “that’s so 12 seconds ago” ads.

BEST MOVIE: True Grit, directed by Joel and Ethan Coen (released in late 2010, saw in the theatre early 2011).

BEST TV SHOW: Louie (FX). I didn’t watch a lot of TV beyond sports and news, but this was incredibly funny and honest.

MOST FUN DURING THE COLLEGE FOOTBALL SEASON: The Pick Six game I managed. Last year we had about 12 people, this year we had more than 50.

BEST CUBS GAME: My first ever Cubs-Sox game was in the midst of a Cubbie losing streak, but the North Siders got the win (July 3).

BEST NOTRE DAME GAME: After an 0-2 start, the Irish steamrolled Michigan State 31-13 (Sept. 17).

BEST ROAD TRIP: Many good nominees here, but I’ll go with my first trip to Ohio University in Athens, Ohio (Oct. 14-16). The football team lost the Homecoming game, but I really enjoyed seeing the campus.

Franklin's original ad from the adoption agency.

WORST THING ABOUT THERE NOT BEING A DOUBLE-A BASEBALL TEAM AROUND HERE: We could have completed the grand slam, as we went to major league (Cubs, twice), Class AAA (Toledo, May 28, although it turned into a rainout) and Class A games (Kane County Cougars, July 29).

BEST T-SHIRT: The one that said "National Sarcasm Society" and below in smaller letters "Yeah, like we really need your support." (spotted on Randolph Street near Wells)

BEST PLAY: The Les Miserables revival we saw (Cadillac Palace, Feb. 25) was neat and all, but did match lofty expecations, so I’m giving it to a small play we saw in Boston called “Or,” (Lyric Stage Company, Oct. 29).

WE’LL MISS: Rock band R.E.M., who called it quits after a 31-year career on Sept. 23.

We are looking forward to an exciting new adventure in the new year. May God’s blessings be on you and your family in 2012.

Shower Cat (A Story)

Friends, let me tell you a little secret about cats. One of many great things about cats is that they clean themselves. Every single cat we've had has been the self-cleaning type--in fact, I've always gone to great care to select the deluxe model of housecat with that feature added. If you're gonna get a cat, I say, you might as well spring for all the bells and whistles. It's so great to not have to worry about giving a kitty a bath, like with messy dogs, or how--

Oh! Hello there kitty. What are you doing in the shower? Silly kitty, you can clean yourself. In fact, I was just talking about how great it is that kitties don't need to take a bath...they clean themselves! Yup, just pull out that rough textured tongue, a generous supply of saliva from those glands Mother Nature gave ya, and wash away. Many times a day if needed! Boy, if I had a nickel for every time a cat of mine just up and stopped what he was doing to give himself a quick --

Oh, need some private time, I see. Okay, well, ahh, I guess I'll just leave you alone, let you do your thing, as they say. ... Say, little fella, do you know how to operate this here contraption? I mean, your species, they generally do this kind of thing on their own, you know what I mean. I've heard of kitties being toilet trained but this is a different thing altogether.

* * *

Now, that same story told in LOLCats:

P6 2011: Week 10 Ends on a Low Note

Games watched: Northern Illinois-Toledo (Tues); Temple-Ohio (Weds); USC-Colorado (snippets, Fri); Michigan-Iowa; Minnesota-Michigan State (backup TV); Kansas-Iowa State (snippets); South Carolina-Arkansas (snippets); LSU-Bama; ND-Wake (backup TV); Oregon-Washington (until fell asleep).

Early shift: I finally got to watch a meaningful Iowa game. Between travel and watching games in person, all I'd really seen were blowouts.

So it was nice to see an Iowa victory. The game itself was pretty much what we've seen the last two years: Iowa outplays its opponents for three quarters, then lets the opponent make a game of it late. The exception is that this year, the Hawkeyes toughened up on "D" late, with a goal-line stand and preserving the win. This is the first three-game winning streak over Michigan in Iowa history. Thank you, Rich Rod and Dave Brandon, for your role in our run of success.

Three in a row, Skunkbear. Now get outta my face.
(photo by Des Moines Register)

Late shift: For as long as I can remember (that'd be 2003), Notre Dame has never been bumped off the main TV. Even if there's a timeslot overlap, which is rare, the nature of Notre Dame's scheduling means that the Irish game is usually more interesting.

But Saturday night, we were watching the Game of the Century Week, LSU vs. Alabama, No. 1 vs No. 2. And I gotta say, it lived up to the hype. Every single play mattered, and the athleticism of both teams on both sides of the ball was evident. In the end, it came down to something the blog Roll Bama Roll had predicted:

'Bama remains the narrow favorite in Vegas, though it is hard to say if that is essentially random white noise or if notes a legitimate disparity between the teams. Home field advantage is baked into the point spread, and the actual impact of that advantage is up for debate, especially in a series where road teams have routinely experienced so much success. And in fact, a traditional match-up analysis would have LSU as the favorite, given the near equal offense versus defense match-ups coupled with the Bayou Bengals' decided edge in the kicking game.

Even though it was fun to watch, Bama's loss meant a drop in the polls and the end of national title hopes for the Tide.

Of course, by now it's Tuesday night, and the college football world has spent the last couple days alternately mesmerized and sickened by the Penn State story. The details and facts change by the minute, so anything I write will be obsolete by the time you read it. Suffice to say, in the wake of something this horrible, many more people will lose their jobs, likely including the greatest coach we've ever known.

Last night I didn't get to the Pick Six update because we were watching the Bears in Monday Night Football. Pro football has nothing to do with anything except this picture is CUTE AS SHIT.

The Pick Six: Well, USC blew out Colorado and Florida State blew out Boston College. But South Carolina lost to Arkansas (and probably lost their QB in the process) and of course Bama lost to LSU. (Sparty beat Minnesota unimpressively; Utah won but likely won't sniff the Top 25 the rest of the year.) I fell a couple spots and Franklin moved up a couple spots to solidify his household lead.

Best week:

I have no idea what "HORRIBLE Dog" did to deserve the moniker of "HORRIBLE." Being a cat person who is scared of most dogs, I'm just going to assume it was something pee-related, so this picture is appropriate. But whether Finley likes it or not, HORRIBLE Dog has Georgia and Houston, both of which have made great runs of late. With a +14, Mitzu had the best performance and moves up to second place.

Enough jibber jabber, who's winning?

"Tressel's Tats" is just 16 points off the perfect score, which is remarkable this late in the season. His top four teams all won (Mizzou was out of the poll already, Penn St. bye'd) and so he kept his lead in the standings for a second straight week.

Franklin's Picks Explained

One of the great things about the Pick Six game is that it's so easy, your child or cat or dog can play. When we adopted Franklin back in June, we let him know about the Pick Six game, and slowly got him started with understanding college football. Since TM works with Quigley to make his picks, I talked to Franklin to get his picks.

Franklin and MPF004, making the picks, captured on the laptop webcam, August 28, 2011.

In Group A, Boise is the new kid on the block, the "nouveau riche" who stormed into the established scene, upsetting the traditional powerhouses with their trick plays and rambunctious energy. That is the Franklin of college football if we've ever seen it.

Group B was easy too. Oklahoma State is the little brother to older brother Oklahoma. They have always tried to get into the spotlight that has firmly been on Norman. This year, they have a ton of returning talent, and finally have that chance to show up their rival. That is Franklin's situation for sure.

Oklahoma (right); Oklahoma State (left).

For the C grouping, I asked Franklin twice which team he wanted, since there wasn't an obvious choice. He just stood up, circled, and went back to sleep. I took that as a sign to pick the sleepiest campus town, and from what I know of Blacksburg, that was a pick for Virginia Tech. Moments later he got up, and as I read off the team names yet again, when I got to Virginia Tech, he crawled into my lap and wedged between my stomach and the laptop as seen in the webcam picture above.

Isn't that the Blacksburg of kitties right there?

The group D pick was easy: this is a Notre Dame kitty. After all, he started his life here at our house by reading the ND preview magazine.

Once training camp started, we watched Brian Kelly press conference videos together.

And he jumps on the TV cabinet when the Irish are on. (No photo of that, just picture us yelling "Get Down!!")

On to Group E. Again, I wasn't sure if there was a quintessential Franklin team like other groupings. So again I read off the team names. When I said "Auburn Tigers," he nudged my hand. I thought he would take the Missouri Tigers since they are striped and Midwestern (like him), but he picked Auburn. I will say Franklin doesn't know anything about Cam Newton or Gene Chizik or the SEC. But hey, it's his pick.

For the sixth, I was thinking he would like Illinois. [Note: this was written before the season started. --ed.] Now before you call animal abuse on me, I will say that I seriously considered Illinois for myself. With OSU being down and Penn State not scary, that half of the Big Ten is wide open. But also, Franklin is an Illinois native. And when I asked him, I was scratching his belly and said, "What about Illinois?" He immediately turned and looked up at me and kept purring. It's a high risk pick, we admit. But, Franklin can be kinda crazy. And Illinois: 

and ... 

Now that's the Franklin of coaches right there!

Now that we are six weeks in, his picks have paid off pretty well, as he climbed from 39th after week 1 all the way to 10th last week, and is currently in 12th place. Good luck Franklin!

I'm done reading. Let's watch some football!

The Second Annual Pick Six Game

My eyes are watching the Bears preseason game tonight, but my head and heart are 10 days in the future when the college football season kicks off. And two days in the past, because the Associated Press on Saturday released their first poll of the year. And the AP Top 25 means it's time for Pick Six!

For an audio-visual representation of my excitement level, click right here. (Turn it up loud. It opens in a new window so you can keep reading here.)

Last year I organized the Pick Six game, modeled on the original by Notre Dame blog The Blue-Gray Sky. It was such fun we're doing it again, and we want you to play.

The rules: so simple. Here's the preseason Top 25:

A: Oklahoma, Alabama, Oregon, LSU, Boise
B: Florida State, Stanford, Texas A&M, Oklahoma State, Nebraska
C: Wisconsin, South Carolina, Virginia Tech, TCU, Arkansas
D: Notre Dame, Michigan State, Ohio State, Georgia, Mississippi State
E: Missouri, Florida, Auburn, West Virginia, Southern Cal

Pick one team from each grouping. Then pick one unranked team. That's your six. The goal is to have the highest ranked teams at the end of the season. The No. 1 team gets 25 points, No. 2 gets 24, down to No. 25 gets one point. The standings will be posted online so you can follow along. (I will update the standings each week, but only the final poll matters.)

How easy is it? Last year a cat won. That's part of the joy (and frustration) of the game. Not only are your cats, dogs and children invited to play, they have a good chance of winning! So get your newspaper...


...or your magazine...


...or just run to a bowl of food symbolizing one of the five teams in a grouping.


One request: let us know how your non-adult participant made his/her/its picks. Based on last year, it will be tremendously fun to read.

Send your picks and your pickset name (if you do not choose a name, a name will be appointed to you by me...keep that in mind) to tmmpf.blog at gmail dot com (to ensure your picks aren't seen early). The deadline is Thursday, September 1, at 4:55 pm Central (five minutes before the first game).

The Prize: last year I acquired a prize in keeping with Blue-Gray Sky's theme of football-themed kitsch. Unfortunately, I forgot to take a picture of it, and the cat won it anyway. So this year, if we can meet or exceed last year's number of entries, I will award this official, government-issued and previously driven State of Tennessee license plate.


Here is last year's winner with the prize he has no use for:


Think you can beat that cat? Get your picks in, and good luck!

Hello Franklin

Good thing we have a "TMMPF News Flash" tag on this blog: yesterday we adopted a kitten!

Hello TMMPF.com readers. My name is Franklin.

This is the first ever picture I took of him:


Our new kitty came from Second Chance Pet Adoption here in the northwest suburbs. We were familiar with the "big shelter" model from Anti-Cruelty Society in the city. But apparently in the suburbs, foster arrangement are more common: agencies put strays with foster parents until they can find a permanent home. Then the agencies host shows at pet stores on the weekends for people like us to fall in love.

I'll say this, he isn't camera shy:

Just for the record, the flash going off in his face was an accident.

It's hard to express how small a 10-week old kitten is when you are used to an adult cat (at nine pounds, Q isn't huge). This picture comes close to getting them in scale:


A better way to describe our reaction is at the 0:25 mark:



Luckily, Quigley has been a very welcoming older brother. They are playing together:


So far there have been no struggles similar to the Booni introduction.

We want to say thank you to Sharon, who was the foster parent to our kitty, and all the folks at Second Chance. If you live in the suburbs and are thinking about adopting a cat, please check them out.

And welcome to our home, Franklin!