Don't you ever imagine things differently from what they are?

Yesterday MPF and I went to see the Coen brother’s remake of the Charles Portis novel (and John Wayne classic) True Grit. It was a very good film that we be both enjoyed very much. Having never read the novel or seen the original movie, though, I can’t say whether the remake does either justice.

I can say, however, that the new True Grit led to the following revelation: Hailee Steinfeld should be the next Anne of Green Gables.

Can't you just see this girl smashing a slate over Gilbert's head?

Many of you know that I am a great lover of all things Anne. While I adore the 1985 made for television version (which was just re-released in widescreen HD… my copy is on the way) I can’t help but imagine the wonders that modern day cinema could do with a story as classic as Anne’s.

Recently, literary delights such as Pride and Prejudice and Jane Eyre have made a comeback in Hollywood. In the case of P&P, the story was retold in a manner that allowed this timeless classic to reach new audiences.

Which begs the question: why not Anne of Green Gables?


The last time LM Montgomery’s story appeared on the silver screen was 1934. It was so successful it launched the career of a little known actress named Dawn Paris who later legally changed her name to that of the title character: Anne Shirley. Similarly, PBS routinely showcases a variety of timeless stories on its Masterpiece program. And yet what do you inevitably see nearly every year during public television pledge time? An Anne of Green Gables marathon featuring the previously mentioned 1980’s made-for TV movie.

It is, in fact, the Kevin Sullivan produced television version that could be causing all the trouble. The roll of Anne, played by Megan Follows, was so well cast that anyone who tries to take her place will have big shoes to fill.

Megan Follows:the classic Anne.

Well, maybe Hollywood doesn’t think there is an actress with enough spirit to play Anne Shirley but I disagree. Ms. Steinfeld, the 14-year-old actress who is nominated for an Oscar for her portrayal of Mattie Ross in True Grit, has not only the pluck but the braids needed to make a successful Anne.

Carrots? Nobody calls me Carrots!

In the new version of True Grit, the character of Mattie Ross is much like Anne Shirley. A headstrong, willful young woman with grace and poise beyond her years (all of which Ms. Steinfield captured beautifully). She is also whip smart, has a fast tongue, and won’t take no for an answer.

And ok, Ms. Steinfeld doesn’t have red hair. But this is 2011; do we really need a natural red head to play Anne? It’s called hair dye and I bet Ms. Steinfeld knows how to use it.

I have no idea if there is even an ounce of interest in Hollywood to remake Anne of Green Gables. But if there is, I hope (pray) that the powers that be consider Ms. Steinfeld for the pivotal role of Anne.

As for the rest of the cast, I will leave that up to you: who do you think should star in an Anne of Green Gables remake?

Curling is Crack

It's true. MPF and I are addicted to curling.

I thought our fascination was an anomaly but apparently tons of people are jumping on the curling bandwagon.

Perhaps this explains why:



In all seriousness... did you see that Canada vs Great Britain match on Saturday night? I have four words for you.

Could. Not. Stop. Watching.

Curling sucks you in. It's like shuffle board on ice, only they play "ends" which are kind of like innings (but there are 10, not 9) and having a "hammer" is a good thing. It seems like there are a bazillion rules in curling... but I can't explain one. Yet I've been glued to the television all week watching a sport I don't understand...

Anyway, curling is even going mainstream:



Now please excuse me, if I log off now I think I can still catch the end of the 9th in the Canada/Sweden women's match...

Heads Up! Olympics Incoming!

Olympic years are easy to remember: same as presidential election years and leap years. But even though we aren't voting any presidents and this February has 28 days like the rest of 'em, there's apparently an Olympics coming up. I know, it's a good thing you and I read the blog to keep up on this stuff.

Also unbelievably, I was watching NBC Nightly News (the Diane Sawyer version of World News Tonight just isn't working for me) and not-Tom-Brokaw-anymore guy was talking about Canadians. So I guess the Canadians got the Olympics, so prepare yourself for lots of talk about Canadians.

Ever vigilant, facing north.

Which is why this is the perfect time to revisit the ultimate guide for Canadian identification, TMMPF's How to Tell Someone Is a Canadian. Brush up people!

My favorite song from the Massey Hall show.

BEST OF MPF 2008

BEST DAY: Feb. 23. It may sound hokey, but Tina and I were at a waterpark in Wisconsin Dells. We played on the water rides, enjoyed an outdoor hot tub, had a couple nice meals, and warmed ourselves by the fireplace in our hotel room.

WORST DAY: June 12, helplessly watching KCRG’s coverage of the CR floods, via the Internet. Runner-up: Dec. 3, when I lost my job.

BEST SHOW: Wilco at the Riviera, part of a five-night stand where they played everything from their catalog (Feb. 18).

Totally awesome.

BEST RECORD: "Asking for Flowers" by Kathleen Edwards knocked me out. I kept coming back to it, and like a well-made movie, you find new things every time you revisit it: new colors, new flavors, tones and meaning. It ranges from her pissed-off defiance to humor to the achingly sad (see next item). (And the listeners of WFUV agreed.) Honorable mention: Alejandro Escovedo “Real Animal”; The Hold Steady “Stay Positive.”

BEST SONG: Maybe it was the way everything fell apart this year, or all the goodbye emails I read from laid-off Tribune employees, but the song that defined the year was the regretful, bittersweet “Viva la Vida” by Coldplay. However, the Best Song of 2008 is “Alicia Ross” by Kathleen Edwards.

When you hear the song, you want to know more. Once you know the story, you can never forget it.

BEST ARTIST: Best Album, Best Song, you guessed it … Kathleen Edwards.

BEST COVER: Blue Oyster Cult's "Burnin' for You" by the Hold Steady with Patterson Hood of Drive By Truckers on lead vocal, Nov. 14, the Riviera. (You can get a taste of it here. )

WORST COVER: Patterson Hood again, with bassist Shonna Tucker, absolutely ruined the Hold Steady’s rarely played “Chill Out Tent.”

BEST COVER OF GENIUS BY GENIUS: Neil Young’s encore performance of Lennon/McCartney’s “A Day in the Life” (Dec. 7).

BEST BLOG: Tell Zell chronicled the idiocy and mismanagement of the Sam Zell takeover, including his outright disrespect of quality journalism, until its sudden end in October. (I contributed this item here.)

BEST SPORTS BLOG: The guys at Black Heart Gold Pants did an excellent job of chronicling the year in Hawkeye sports, from the struggling hoops to off-field scandal to the resurgent football team, all with a mix of juvenile humor, JoePa spoofs and biting analysis.

BEST SINGLE PODCAST: NPR produced "The Giant Pool of Money," an hourlong explanation of the subprime mortgage crisis, told in plain English with very little jargon.

WEIRDEST CATHEDRAL: Our Lady of the Angels in Los Angeles.

BEST NEWS STORY ABOUT A CAT: It’s hard to top a wild cougar on the loose in Roscoe Village, a neighborhood about a mile away from us, in the middle of Chicago (April 15).

BEST MOVIE: I didn’t see any movies made in 2008.

BEST TV SHOW: I don’t think I watched any TV program (excludes news and sports) more than once. Maybe “Grey’s Anatomy” back in spring.

BEST ROAD TRIP: To Wisconsin, for Kelly and Josh’s wedding and the Leinenkugel’s brewery tour (July 11-13).

BEST AD: No single ad, but I liked the continuing campaigns of the Miller High Life truck driver and “I’m a Mac/I’m a PC.”

WORST AD: Perennial nominee Illinois Lottery wins again, for the “REE-play for RRR-attch-ESS!” (summer) and “C’mon Let It Snow” (winter) campaigns.

BEST PICTURE: How about me, throwing out the first pitch at a minor-league baseball game. Check out the form:

BEST CANDIDATE ON A MAJOR PARTY TICKET: Barack Obama (Senator of Illinois).

WORST CANDIDATE ON A MAJOR PARTY TICKET: Sarah Palin.

BEST FOOTBALL GAME: (tie) Notre Dame took an early lead on Michigan then cruised to a 35-17 win in the rain (Sept. 13). Shonn Greene put on a show as Iowa throttled Wisconsin 38-16 (Oct. 18).

BEST/WORST BASEBALL GAMES: Cubs playoffs games, both losses. (Oct. 1-2)

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ALMA MATER'S SPORTS TEAM: Easily, the winner is the Drake men’s basketball team, who came out of nowhere to win the Missouri Valley conference regular season and title, earning a No. 5 seed in the NCAA tournament. (Jan-March)


There it is. Let's hope and pray 2009 is a good year for you and your family. Your thoughts and comments welcome below.

--MPF004.

Barack and Roll: Revisited

Back in April I predicted who some of my favorite artists would back for president. I thought it would be nice to take a quick look, the day before the election, at who these bands actually endorsed.

Bruce. It all started with this article about Bruce endorsing Barack Obama. The Boss stayed true to his word, introducing Obama at a rally in Ohio in the campaign's final weekend.


The Hold Steady: I didn't see or hear anything from the Steady this election season. I did get an email saying that the Koob (Tad Kubler) fell ill with pancreatitis, so maybe they were preoccupied. However, they are from blue-collar Catholic south Minneapolis, and they live in Brooklyn, probably the bluest borough in Gotham. No way they vote McCain.

Wilco: Umm, yeah, this was a no-brainer. They gave away a free song for those who pledge to vote. Republicans don't give anything away for free, except tax breaks to big corporations.


Patty Griffin: PG stayed under the radar this season too. No idea what she's thinking. Hopefully good thoughts.


R.E.M.: Obama.


Dylan: Back when I wrote this, I predicted Dylan wouldn't vote, cause at the end of the day, "Dylan will still be Dylan."

While I would like to think that everyone who is cool (not in the hipster Wicker Park sense, but the overall attitude towards life) would get behind Obama, I figured the famously aloof Dylan would remain aloof.

However! Lookee here! Dylan tells some newspaper in a foreign country that he likes Obama. Hopefully he's not just playing pranks on the European media ... he's done that before. AND he has a new two-disc record out. Double cool.


Old 97's: I passed on this one, but it turns out that they are ready for the end of the Bush years just like the rest of us.

Kelly Willis: No idea. Lives in Texas. Not a good sign.

Kathleen Edwards: Still Canadian. Still can't vote.

Gary Louris: He didn't say anything political when we saw him a couple weeks ago. Maybe he's sitting this one out.


A. Scott Miller: He has a song on his recent demo collection warning about "People Who Rule." Sounds like he's in the "Eight Is Enough" camp. On the other hand, in "I Been Drunk All Around the Town," he did acknowledge that even Republicans get the blues.

Zep: Still British. Still can't vote. (And apparently not touring, either. Damn.)

Josh Rouse: Unknown.

Dolly Varden: As if there was any doubt, I got this email from Steve Dawson the other day: "And for those of us on the radical fringe left, here's [a video clip of] Dolly Varden with Edward Burch at our 13th anniversary concert singing my ode to the Bush years: "Sold Down The River" ... now get out there and vote!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Poor John Maverick! Oh, but he did get one rocker endorsement: the guitarist for criminally underappreciated and underplayed on FM radio Aerosmith*. The self-described "hardcore Republican" waited until five days before the election, or about ten months after the Iowa caucuses, to make his endorsement. Massachusetts, long considered a blue state, may now be on the verge of tipping red*. McCain also got Brady Quinn. Let's hope Ohio is able to overlook that.


* sarcasm.

2008 Playoffs: Requiem for a Choker

Part One: My Laziness Saved Me

First, a story.

I shouldn't have even been at Game 1. But, my workday on Wednesday started with this email from my boss:

-----

From: (boss name redacted), Joan E.
Sent: Wednesday, October 01, 2008 8:51 AM
To: MPF; (coworker name redacted), William
Subject: Cubs Tix?


Mike/Willy -

I have two sets of Cubs Tickets for purchase if you are interested,
one is for Wednesday and one set for Thursday night and they are
$35/ea.

Let me know if you are interested.

Joan

-----

A couple things to know: I won a lottery to buy tix thru the Cubs earlier, so TM and I already had tix to Game 2. And, face value for tix start at 30-something for standing room, 60-something for bleachers and get higher from there. So that's a great price.

So I said yes to Game 1 and get sent to the secretary holding the tix. She tells me where they are and then says, "And make the check out to Tribune Company." (owner of the Cubs) I said, "You won't take cash?" She said, no, the note on these said check only.

Who brings their checkbook to work on a regular basis? Maybe women if it happens to be in their purse, but not men. There's a Chase ATM in the lobby of the building, but it wouldn't do any good. It has to be a check.

So I'm screwed. Except.....

....except the night before I'd looked at my checkbook and realized I hadn't filled in the running total in the check register for several entries. I like to keep it up to date.

But I was feeling lazy, so I said, ah, I'll just do it tomorrow at work when I'm bored, so I threw my checkbook in my work bag. (I also wrote a check for my co-worker Willy, who of course didn't have his checkbook at work.)

We sat in Section 206, left field line. I would describe the mood in the park as hopeful yet reserved. Part of it almost certainly was the early start: 5:30 local time. I had to cut out of work early to come home and change clothes, and we barely made it to the park in time. Part of it could have been that so much was expected of the Cubs: Best record in the NL, first NL team to clinch, and that whole 100-year thing. Maybe the crowd just didn't have time to get drunk or at least buzzed, or maybe they were too nervous to get drunk 'n' noisy.

I think only two good things happened that night, and both happened early. One, I discovered our seats were next to my friend and co-worker Charlie. Two, Mark DeRosa hit a two-run homer in the third.

Other than that...Dempster* was wild. He had more walks than innings pitched. He did manage to get one over the plate to Manny, which Mort warned he shouldn't do:

You rock, MPF. Have a blast tonight. If the Cubs give Manny anything to hit it'll be a big mistake. Walk him every time. Just like what the Brew Crew should do against the Phillies now that Ryan Howard doesn't have Pat Burrell to protect him. ...

The big BUT (in Mort's prediction of Cubs and Angels winning their series--ed.) lies on the home team winning Game 1. If the Red Sox and Dodgers win Game 1, that will make a huge change in the final outcome. Also, if the Cubs decide to pitch to Manny instead of walk him every at-bat (kind of like what the Brewers need to do against Howard), then things will change.

Make sure that pile of salt is right outside your front door.
Mort-

I guess Mort shoulda told Dempster, not me. But by the time of the Manny homer, the wildness had pretty much put the game out of reach, psychologically if not logically. Final: Dodgers 7, Cubs 2.

Game 1: Cubs (click on any scorecard for larger version)

Game 1: Dodgers


The official Game 1 box score is here.

Part Two: Errors in the Infield

We sat in Section 229, under the overhead along the first-base line. The fans were a little louder Thursday than Wednesday. I'm sure the later start time (8:30 pm) had something to do with it, but also a recognition that we had our ace going, and if anyone could shut down the Dodgers and get this thing to 1-1, it was Big Z. But when the second inning happened, I think the die was cast.

In 1984, the first NL East title for the Cubs in the divisional era, Chicago had a squad nicknamed "Animals in the Infield." The players were Leon "the Bull" Durham, Ryne "Ryno" Sandberg, and Ron "the Penguin" Cey. (As I recall he was squat and pudgy like the bird. I dunno if shortstop Larry Bowa had a nickname. The "boa," I guess.)

Well, in Game 2, the Cubs had errors in the infield--at all four positions. First off was DeRosa in the second inning, letting a grounder through. It sucked, but not a fatal error. Very next batter: D Lee flubs a grounder and can't recover in time. Those would have been outs two and three; now it's one out, bases loaded. Big Z strikes out the pitcher, but the next two batters (Furcal and Martin) single and double, respectively, bringing home four runs. Whatever air was left in the Friendly Confines escaped at that point. Down 1 game to zero, and 5-0 in the top of the second...this team just wasn't prepared for that.

Not to be left out, Aramis "No Cool Nickname" Ramirez (3B, 4th inning) and Ryan "The Riot" Theriot (SS, 9th inning) made their own errors to complete the sweep. The Cubs made a futile attempt at a comeback with one in the seventh and two in the ninth, but by then it was too late. Final: Dodgers 10, Cubs 3.

Game 2: Cubs


Game 2: Dodgers

Game 2 box score here.

And, they went out to LA, and of course the Cubs played a little better with Rich Harden* on the mound, but still not good enough. A 3-1 loss and the season was over.

I don't know if I have any answers for what happened. The team I saw in Game 1 and Game 2 was not the team I followed over the summer. The big bats that could crush anyone into submission went silent. The most reliable pitcher at Wrigley couldn't find the plate with a map and a flashlight. The one guy you expect to stop a slump (think Pedro in the late '90s for Boston) was victimized by errors and couldn't recover. Most damning is all the money wrapped up in the salaries of Sorryano, Ramirez and (cringe) D Lee, all of whom could not deliver a clutch hit (or even a meaningful hit) to save their lives. I never thought I'd say this, but: where have you gone, Moises Alou?

So now it's watching the playoffs on TV with general apathy, sorta rooting for the Dodgers cause they got a kid from Iowa. Maybe someday we'll go all the way, Eddie. Just not in 2008. So for my final words on the 2008 Cubs, I shall quote Harry: "So long, everybody."

---

*-a Canadian. I need to justify the "Canadians" tag.

Counting Was Never So Cool

Barack and Roll

Ladies and gentlemen: the 44th president of the United States is Barack Hussein Obama. You know how I know? Because the Boss has spoken.

But it got me wondering: who would my favorite bands endorse?




The Hold Steady: The Steady likes to drink beer and rock out. They've been called America's greatest bar band and was the subject of the first really long essay on this blog. A guy like Craig Finn who understands the impact of using the right words and the power of dreaming for a better tomorrow would support Obama. Now, if it ever were determined that Barack got drunk once under some railroad tracks in Minneapolis, that would totally seal the deal.

Wilco: Obama. Hometown pick.



Patty Griffin: Hillary. Not just because of the gender, but because Hillary represents toughness and feminity at the same time. She can legislate with the boys by day and have a pajama party with the girls at night*. It's the same complexity that permeates PG's songs and characters.


R.E.M.: I am sure that they believe in the hope of the Obama campaign.



Dylan: wouldn't vote. He did enough world-changing 40 years ago, and no matter who the next president is, Dylan will still be Dylan.



Old 97's: I'll let TM take a swing at this one. You got four guys from Texas. They believe in rock and roll, Merle Haggard covers, marrying supermodels, writing killer ballads, God and microwaving chicken ravioli. So who the 97's got?


Kelly Willis: Kelly is a mom (unfortunately, now a stay-at-home mom) in Texas, a bastion of Republicanism. I think she'd see Hillary and Obama as too slick, too big-city for her taste. She'd probably appreciate the "guns" candidate, which is McCain. (I have no idea if Kelly is pro-gun, anti-gun or gun-indifferent. She's from Texas, people. I'm going on stereotypes here.)

Kathleen Edwards: Canadian. Can't vote.

Gary Louris: Gar, being from the upper Midwest, probably trusts the Midwestern guy over the slick New Yorker. (Yeah, I'm aware she grew up in Park Ridge. Does she seem like a trustworthy Midwesterner, or a cutthroat Manhattanite? Yeah, you know I'm right.)

A. Scott Miller: Scott Miller is a Southerner. He likes a shot and a beer--and not the photo op kind. I think he'd go Obama, if only for "whut the hell man, this country's in the shitter anyway. Let's give this guy a chance. Areyawithme, America??"

Zep: Zep, as Carolyn pointed out, is fabulously wealthy and would probably support the Republican no matter who he is. However, Zep is British. Can't vote.


Josh Rouse: He lives in Spain now, so I think he's probably better attuned than anyone on this list to how America's global standing has plummeted under the Bush administration. The world hates us because our dumbass president started a preemptive war on bullshit evidence. (Do I have that right, Parnell?) So Josh Rouse is going to vote for whoever is not George Bush, whoever will restore America's image as the beacon of hope for the world. That man is Barack Obama.

Dolly Varden: I kinda sorta know Steve and Diane through my friend Sarah, who knows them very well. A few years ago, (early November 2004 to be exact) TM and I went to a photo exhibit of Sarah's (she's very talented, check out the photo credit) at the Old Town School of Folk Music. At one point, when I was standing nearby, someone walked into the room and asked Diane how she was doing. "Oh you know, we're upset..." she said, and then added, almost unnecessarily, "about the election." So I'm damn sure they ain't voting for Bush, anyone who looks like Bush, thinks like Bush, or has an "R" after their name like Bush. Because I kinda sorta know Steve and Diane and do not wish to make jokes about their preference**, let's just say they would split their vote, with Steve picking Obama and Diane picking Hillary.

---

* This is a real story I read, showing her "softer side" and how she can giggle with her girlfriends like a regular adult woman. I couldn't find the link, but that was a deliberate reference.

** If Steve or Diane or Sarah stumbles across this, please leave your thoughts in the comments box, and I promise to update accordingly.

How to Tell Someone Is a Canadian

Deep down inside, everyone wants the people around them to be just like them. That's why in every high school cafeteria in America, the chess club sits with the chess club, the basketball team sits with the basketball team, the band kids sit together, etc.

But unfortunately, we live in a complex, non-uniform society. There are those among us that may look like us that are not like us. Certain detection systems have been developed to identify these "seemingly like us" folks. For example, some individuals have the ability to sense homosexuality in those who do not advertise the fact. This radar-like system has been dubbed "gay-dar." And recently, The Onion, America's Finest News Source, ran an essay from a guy who talked about his "blackdar."

To this body of work, I'd like to add another radar-like detection: identifying someone who is a Canadian. I call my system Canad-Eh-dar^TM.

To illustrate how this works, let's look at the lovely and talented Miss Kathleen Edwards. There are many ways to tell that she is Canadian cause she doesn't make any effort to hide it. But let's pretend you didn't know anything about her.* We'll examine the lyrics to one of her songs, "I Make the Dough, You Get the Glory," as a way to see the Canad-Eh-dar in action.

Edwards is cool. She gave the finger to this hippie who wouldn't give her directions.

Blazing a trail to the southern cities from the streets of our hometown
Basement bars we played from the heart in the company of our friends

Nothing special here. She doesn't say which country's southern cities she's referring to. I assume Canada has basement bars just like the US.

If I write down these memories that I have saved away
Photographs of the years that have passed inside my little brain
You're cool and cred like Fogerty

OK, here's our first real clue. "Cred" sounds like Canada-type slang for "credible." She refers to John Fogerty of CCR by just his last name, whereas Americans are ignorant and would've called him, "you know, that guy from CCR."

I'm Elvis Presley in the 70's

Aha! As you'll see, Edwards sets up a series of observations where "your" wonderfulness is contrasted with "my" lack of coolness. To make this point, she points to '70s-era Elvis as uncool. No American would ever say that. Elvis was cool in all five of the decades he walked this earth. (If I had to rank them, I'd say '50s, '60s, '70s, '40s, '30s.) I mean, when was this picture taken?

That's right, the '70s.

You're Chateauneuf, I'm Yellow Label

I don't know what Chateauneuf is and I don't have the interest in searching for it, but it sounds French. I know Canada has a bunch of French people and that's good enough for me. I don't get the Yellow Label reference, and I'm somewhat familar with cheap alcohol, so I'm guessing it's a Canadish form of cheap wine.

You're the buffet, I'm just the table
I'm a Ford Tempo, you're a Maserati

Nothing special here....they have buffets, tables and Ford Tempos in both countries. Maserati is a geography-neutral reference to an insanely expensive car.

You're the Great One, I'm Marty McSorley

Now here's the kicker. This reference probably went way over your head if you're American, but the "Great One" is the nickname of Wayne Gretzky, who played hockey, the national sport of Canada. Likewise, Marty McSorley also played hockey, except he played the position of "thug," a role more about beating people up than actually playing hockey.

Hey Americans: this is what Wayne Gretzky looks like. Don't feel bad, I had to Google him.

You're the Concorde, I'm economy
I make the dough, but you get the glory

Big fish, small pond and some cover songs we sang along the way
We used to midnight run to The Vesta Lunch
Cheese burgers and chocolate shakes.

Never heard of the Vesta Lunch. Sounds like a Canadese burger joint. If she were American, she would have name-dropped Mickey D's.

Once I got drunk with Jeff
I told him I was in love with you
But I love you like a brother so at least half of it was true

I would guess that Canadians can get drunk and say embarrassing things just like us.

You're cool and cred like Fogerty
I'm Elvis Presley in the 70's
You're Chateauneuf, I'm Yellow Label
You're the buffet, I'm just the table
I'm a Dodge Sparkle, you're a Lamborghini

Ever heard of a Dodge Sparkle? Me neither. I see it as one of two options: it's either a car that was sold only in Canada, or it's Canadian slang for a different model. Either way: it sets off the Canad-Eh-dar.

You're the Great One, I'm Marty McSorley
You're the Concorde, I'm economy
I make the dough, but you get the glory

If I write down these memories that I have saved away
Photographs of the years that have passed inside my little brain
I'm sure it's been said in the finer print You make me look legitimate
Heavy rotation on the CBC
Whatever in hell that really means

You should be convinced by now, but you see that acronym "CBC"? Turns out, that stands for Canadian Broadcasting Corporation! That's right, the national TV (or radio, or both, whatever, it's definitely not from here). And their website ends in ".ca," not ".com," which tells you that it's from a foreign country.

You're cool and cred like Fogerty
I'm Elvis Presley in the 70's
You're the Concorde, I'm economy
I make the dough, but you get the glory

There you go. Canada-Eh-dar proves the Canadaness of Kathleen Edwards and other Canadians. Feel free to use these time-tested techniques next time you're wondering about that guy at work who says "sorry" like "SORE-y" and other potential Canadians.

Lovely. Talented. Foul-mouthed. And proven Canadian.

By the way, this guy explains the wine thing. And you know where he's from? Winnipeg, which is *part of Canada*. Coincidence?

---

* If you really don't know anything about Kathleen Edwards, read up on her blog, buy her new CD, or while you're at it, buy one or both of her two previous records. Lyrics by Kathleen Edwards. Copyright 2008, SOCAN Potty Mouth Productions Inc. Used without permission but I don't think she'll mind.

I toured Graceland in 2004 and took this picture of the Elvis portrait by the stairs. Whaddya you got, Canada? Anne Murray's house?!?