11th Annual TMMPF Pick Six Game

It's time for the 11th Annual TMMPF Pick Six Game! For those who have played before, welcome back. If you are new, the game is incredibly simple. We divide the preseason AP poll into five quintiles:

A: Alabama, Ohio State, Florida State, Southern Cal, Clemson

B: Penn State, Oklahoma, Washington, Wisconsin, Oklahoma State

C: Michigan, Auburn, Louisiana State, Stanford, Georgia

D: Louisville, Florida, Miama, South Florida, Kansas State

E: Virginia Tech, West Virginia, Texas, Washington State, Tennessee

You pick one team from each group, plus one unranked team. The goal is to have the highest ranked teams in the final AP poll (the one that comes out after the national championship game). Points are awarded thusly: No. 1 ranked team = 25 points, No. 2 = 24 points, down to one point for the No. 25 team. 

NEW THIS YEAR: You can submit all your information via an online form. Use this link: 

https://goo.gl/forms/TfqSLlgA4iVIjtIt1

Or if you prefer good ol' email, send your six schools, plus your team name, to tmmpf (dot) blog at gmail (dot)com by the deadline of the first games, which is Thursday, Aug. 31, 5pm Central. Technically there are games this Saturday, two of which feature ranked teams, but we'll ignore that. Game recaps and the updated scoreboard will be sent weekly.

If you played last year, you can keep your team name. If you're new, welcome, and be sure to include your team name along with your six picks. If you don't declare a name, I'll assign one to you of my choosing. Probably a character from "The Big Lebowski."

SHARE ON SOCIAL MEDIA: Use this link to share the game with your friends: 
http://tmmpf.blogspot.com/2017/08/11th-annual-tmmpf-pick-six-game.html 

Any questions, leave 'em in the comments or email me. 

Good luck, and enjoy the games!

--MPF004

Time To Play Pick Six 2013!

If you live in the Upper Midwest, like many TMMPF.com readers, you've noticed a certain chill in the air. A crispness that says ... it's football season. And as of today, it IS officially football season, because the Associated Press preseason Top 25 poll was released, and that means the Sixth Annual TMMPF Pick Six Game. Cue the Viking kitties.

The Viking Kitty video actually won't play within Blogger. Watch here to get psyched up.

THE GAME IS EASY! If you've played in previous years, you know how simple it is (to enter at least, winning is a different story) ....

The preseason Top 25 poll is divided into quintiles (a word that probably gets used once a year and on this blog only):

A: Alabama, Ohio State, Oregon, Stanford, Georgia
B: South Carolina, Texas A&M, Clemson, Louisville, Florida
C: Florida State, Louisiana State, Oklahoma State, Notre Dame, Texas
D: Oklahoma, Michigan, Nebraska, Boise State, Texas Christian
E: UCLA, Northwestern, Wisconsin, Southern Cal, Oregon State

Pick one team from each group. Then one unranked team (Group F). There's your Pick Six. The goal is to have the highest ranked teams at the end of the season. (The game ends after the bowls, with the final AP poll in January.)

FAMILY FUN! We've learned the game is more fun when multiple members of your family or household participate. Think you don't care about that Georgia/Clemson game? You will, if you've got the 'Dogs and your spouse has the Tigers!

Cats can play ....

This is Franklin on my lap as I entered my 2011 picks. 

Dogs can play ....

USC or UCLA ... which kibble looks tastier?

Heck in 2011 we had a fetus enter the game. He finished 19th. The next year after he was born, he played again and finished first!! (I hope to have more from last year's winner, "Thomas the Train," next week.)

Last year we had a TMMPF-record 60 entries. The more the merrier, so share the info with friends, co-workers, your bookie, whoever you think would enjoy.

PRIZES! Every year I give a kitchsy, college-football themed prize for first place. The last few years have been memorabilia for teams from the Southeast, which is ironic given I live in Big Ten/Notre Dame country. But along with the glory, you could walk away with a prize valued at up to TEN WHOPPING DOLLARS.

You don't have to know anything about football. You don't even have to be sober.

DO I NEED TO DO RESEARCH? If you want to ... whether you are online ...

...or prefer old school newspaper.

IT'S TIME TO ENTER! To play, simply submit your six teams and a name for your entry. If you submit picks without a team name, I will pick one for you. That can be dangerous. If you played last year, you can keep your name or choose a new one.

Send your picks to tmmpf.blog (at) gmail dotcom. Any advice, decision angst you felt, or pictures of kitties/dogs/babies making picks is always welcome, and in fact is a key component of the game.

Call your friends...

Send an email ...

tell them to get their picks in!

DEADLINE: The deadline is Thursday, August 29, 4:55 pm Central, which is five minutes before the first game of the season. No I don't know why North Carolina vs. South Carolina (and Kent State) felt it necessary to start at 5pm.

Every Sunday (God willin' and the Creek don't rise), I'll post a recap on Saturday's games and an updated scoreboard.

QUESTIONS? Reach out to me at my email address if you've got it, the email address above if you don't, or leave a comment here on the blog if it's general.

Thanks and good luck to everyone!

If the sight of this doesn't make you retch, congratulations on giving up on twenty years of hate. You've just identified your Group A pick.

The Third Annual Pick Six Game

I heard a rumor earlier in the week: the preseason AP poll would be released on Saturday. So Saturday morning I woke up, went to my computer, waited til the 9am release time, checked the teams, and announced:

"The Pick Six is officially ON!" (Oh yeah, there are Viking Kittens.)

For those who played before, welcome back. For newcomers, welcome to the game. Read on:

The rules: The preseason AP poll of teams 1 through 25 is broken up into five quintiles:

A: Southern Cal, Alabama, LSU, Oklahoma, Oregon
B: Georgia, Florida State, Michigan, South Carolina, Arkansas
C: West Virginia, Wisconsin, Michigan State, Clemson, Texas
D: Virginia Tech, Nebraska, Ohio State, Oklahoma State, TCU
E: Stanford, Kansas State, Florida, Boise State, Louisville

Pick one team from each grouping. Then pick one unranked team (Group F) ... it can be any team not listed above. That's your six. The goal is to have the highest ranked teams at the end of the season (after all bowls are played). The No. 1 team gets 25 points, No. 2 gets 24, down to No. 25 gets one point. The standings will be posted online so you can follow along. (I will update the standings each week, but only the final poll matters.)

My favorite aspect of the game is that it's so easy, your cat or dog can play. Or baby. Hell, last year we had a fetus (who has since turned into an awesome little dude). Feel free to enter a pickset for any member of your household. If you do, please share how your cat/dog/parakeet/infant made his/her picks. It is usually such fun to read the creativity of our contestants.

 

Is this a MAC-tastic hint for an "F" pick? 

 How easy is it? Here's last year's winner:

and the runner-up:

So even if you are a casual fan, or you are a child having this read to you by your mom or dad, You Can Do This!

The prize: As you can see, last year's theme was kitsch from a prominent football program, in the spirit of the original game hosted by Notre Dame blog The Blue-Gray Sky. I'm hoping to keep that theme going this year. Exact item will be revealed later in the season.

Note: DO NOT WRITE "OSU" for your Group D team! I don't care if you live in Ohio and you think I know which OSU you're talking about (or if you live in the south and you think I know which OSU you're talking about). Anybody who submits "OSU" will be assigned the Oregon State Beavers and get any points they earn (that particular "OSU" went 3-9 last year, the way). Similarly, but less likely, don't write "OU" for Oklahoma or Oregon. I will assume you mean the Ottawa Braves of Ottawa, Kansas. Please be clear.

The field: We had 22 entries in 2010 and 52 in 2011. The goal this year, in the spirit of that Olympics thing we dominated this summer, is to grow international. If you have a friend or relative outside the US borders, who likes college football and/or can select one of five items at random, send along the info! I'd love to make this the "World Famous" Pick Six Game. Can we break 80 in 2012? Can we get world famous?

A subtle reminder that Notre Dame finished just outside the poll as the 26th team, highest among the "others receiving votes."

The deadline: Email your picks and your pickset name (for returning players, you can keep last year's or pick a new one) to tmmpf.blog at gmail dot com (to ensure your picks aren't seen early). The deadline is Thursday, August 30, at 5:55 pm Central (five minutes before the first game).

The comment field is open for bragging and taunting. Good luck, and have fun!

Talkin' Ohio Football With Matt From Hustle Belt

Welcome to a record third-straight MAC-related post on TMMPF.com. To mark the occasion, I brought in someone who actually knows what he's talking about when it comes to MAC football: Matt Sussman from the pre-eminent MAC-centric blog, Hustle Belt. Matt was gracious enough to answer a few questions about Ohio's season and be the first non-fake guest for a Q-and-A.


MPF004: Every conference opponent has a first- or second-year coach (exception being Dave Clawson, 3rd year at Bowling Green). How much of an advantage does that give a veteran coach like Solich?

Matt Sussman: Yeah, the conference has been beleaguered by bigger schools with fatter paychecks. Having continuity at the head coach position is an advantage when recruiting. I don't think Solich will be hired away any time soon, but the other coaches will likely be fired or climbing the coaching ladder in two years. In terms of an edge during the season, I don't know how much of a difference it makes.

MPF: Although, I'd like to think there are in-game advantages. Solich knows his players better, and he's seen the other team's players before. He shouldn't get flustered by late-game situations (a la Les Miles) and he in theory knows the officials. Those are the things I think would make a difference on gameday.

MS: There may be some advantage, but even these new coaches have been around college football before, and big games too. Consider that Steve Addazio [former Florida offensive coordinator] and Dave Clawson [former OC at Tennessee and now the most-tenured sweatervest wearer in the Buckeye State] have been in the SEC. Darrell Hazell [Kent] and Dave Doeren [Northern] coached at OSU. Don Treadwell [Not Cheating Miami] called plays at Michigan State. They've all seen a lot and been in close games. Solich as well has Big XII and even BCS experience. You're right that he's recruited all his players, and maybe there's something to the fact that he can coach to that. But that seems more like an off-the-field advantage, where the difference is made in recruiting, practice and conditioning. Is Solich a great in-game tactician? I don't know about that; maybe that's the real question here.

MPF: Phil Bates. I've seen the man throw in person and on TV. Even at home I wasn't sure if the ball was going to hit me. Given his speed (good) and arm (not good), he seemed perfect for a position change to slot receiver, but early reports from camp have him still at QB. If he's going to stay at QB he has to throw a lot better or no defense will respect the pass. Do you like Bates, or the kid Tettleton, or Door #3 (aka reshirt freshman Snyder) for the QB position?

MS: If I were a coach, I'd always put in Mickey Tettleton's son. But that's why I'm not coaching. I have the same concerns about Bates being a full-time starter. I think he's still going to be a direct snap guy, but with another year of experience he may take on a bigger load. I'd bet they split the time between him and Tettleton.

(Note: since this conversation, Tettleton was announced as the starter. I followed up for Matt's thoughts on this quasi-breaking news....)

MS: I think that Tettleton might be their greatest weakness on offense ... obviously he's a third-year player so maybe he has enough experience. I haven't seen him play so he could be great, but first-year starters tend to make a few mental mistakes when the game speeds up. Then again, Austin Boucher [The Other Miami] won a MAC Championship last year.

Phil Bates' 2010 stat line. "This is our concern, Dude."

MPF: Phil Steele likes Ohio to win the division, but almost more for reasons of schedule than talent. In my experience, when the best thing you can say about a team is who they DON'T play, it's not a good sign. How do you see this year's Bobcats handling this schedule? Is it tailor-made, or are they going to stub their toe against the bottom feeders?

MS: It's a trendy pick because we know very little about these teams, and all we have is their skill set on paper and the skill sets/rankings of all the other teams, and yes, in theory, Ohio has a schedule where they can run the table. But if you look at the MAC media poll, another byproduct of soft science ... we really don't know what kind of team they're going to be. They could be great, or they could be average. But we know they have what looks to be an easy schedule. Perhaps Buffalo or Akron or CMU is actually going to be formidable, and suddenly the schedule isn't such a string of cupcakes.

MPF: Sticking with the schedule for the moment, what is your game of the year? Bonus points for picking something besides Temple on ESPN2.

MS: Ha. Well, last year they got their revenge on Temple by knocking them out of the MAC East race, but the following week they had a devastating loss to Kent State. So you might see the Bobcats try to come out and cream them. And the Miami game, always.

MPF: What do you see as the greatest strength and greatest weakness of this year's squad? Feel free to answer in terms of a player (RT Flading or MLB Keller) or position group (linebackers) or intangible (coaching, schedule, Rufus's badass-ness).

MS: The offensive line is definitely their advantage, and even if that's all they had going for them, it's a hell of a starting point. Especially since one of their drawbacks is being the only team to have lost their starting quarterback. So likely the learning curve for the new QB will be mitigated by an experienced blocking line.

I'm from Iowa. Templeton Rye is from Iowa. I like Templeton. I am going to accidentally call this kid 'Templeton' at least as often as I call him Tettleton.

MPF: Ohio's special teams are beyond good and dare I say, BCS-conference caliber, with Keller and Hershey and I assume Lavon Brazill returning kicks. Given Ohio's propensity for close games, especially in 2009, do you see special teams as a difference-maker in Ws and Ls this year?

MS: That all does depend on if Brazill can return to his 2009 form. We know Hershey and Keller should be solid, but they'll also need smart play from their blockers.

MPF: Frank Solich's Ohio teams have a history of getting to, but not winning, the big game. See: 2006 conference championship and bowl, 2009 conference championship and bowl, 2010 vs. Kent with the East title on the line. Is this the year they finally win a meaningful game, ie a conference championship or bowl? (The Pitt upset was cool, but not meaningful in a postseason sense.)

MS: It's very possible. I think they can reach the MAC Championship, but to go as far to say they'd beat Toledo or NIU or even WMU is going to be tough. Looking on the other side, people say Cubit is due at WMU, and that's actually a championship game I'd love to see, because then something absolutely would have to give.

MPF: If you could ask Frank Solich one question, what would it be? If you
were both at a Court Street bar, would it be a different question?

MS: If it were Courtside, it would be "what are you doing here?" And given the fact that I rarely get out, if I did happen to run into him, I'm pretty much stupefied that he was at the same place I was.

I miss Boo Jackson's senior leadership at the quarterback position. And I miss his hair.

MPF: Now that Boo Jackson has moved on, who has your favorite nickname and hairdo in the MAC?

MS: If one Boo is good, then two is better. BG's cornerback/kick returner Jerry "Boo Boo" Gates takes the title. As for the hair, always look for the Pacific Islanders. And Akron has one with an amazing mane, and the name couldn't be any more perfect than defensive tackle Phil Tonga.

He's got good hair, but he's no Franshaw.

MPF: Have you ever used the word "Mac-tastic" in a sentence?

MS: I prefer MAC-ceptional.

---

Thanks, Matt. Be sure to check out his blog at hustlebelt.com. Ohio opens the season on Sept. 3 at New Mexico State on something called AggieVision. Good luck Bobcats!

How the Hell Am I Supposed To Keep Track of These Divisions?

The biggest story of the 2010 offseason (conference realignment) has become one of the most exciting changes of 2011. There were some trivial moves amongst the irrelevant Western schools, but by far the biggest and most important was the addition of Nebraska to the Big Ten.

I was wondering if I would ever re-use this picture. Hah hah just kidding, Kelly.

The Big Ten does not take on newcomers lightly. Hell I remember when Michigan State was the new kid on the block ... and they joined in 1949. In fact before Nebraska only three schools had joined our venerable institution in the 20th century: Columbus Community College The Ohio State University (1912), Sparty and Penn State (1990).

The addition of Nebraska means many things for the conference...a natural rivalry game for Iowa, an immediate contender for the championship, a conference title game ... but the most important is this:

How the hell are you supposed to remember who is in these new divisions?

Luckily for you the not-as-fanatical-as-MPF football fan, I'm here to help. Let's start with the basics.

One Division: Iowa, Michigan, Michigan State, Minnesota, Nebraska, Northwestern

The Other Division: Illinois, Indiana, Ohio State, Penn State, Purdue, Wisconsin

That's all well and good, but that's not very easy to remember. After all, smart conferences divided their divisions with clean geographic lines. The Big Texas, formerly known as the Big XII, drew a line along the southern borders of Kansas and Missouri and split into the North and the South. (And much like the Union 150 years ago, that split didn't work out too well.) The SEC likewise has the East and the West. So even if you don't pay much attention to SEC football, you can probably look at a map and realize Florida and Georgia = East and Mississippi/Louisiana/Arkansas-based schools = West.

Getting back to our conference: you've realized there is not a clean geographic split (even though they could have drawn a line between Illinois and Indiana and had six on each side). What about mnemonics? Creating a word out of an acronym?

I suggest "MAIN" and "WOPPII." "Main" is a bastardization of "mmmIAnn" which is the three "M" schools (Michigan, Mitten State and Minny), IowA, and the two "NU"s (Armani and Husker). "WOPPII" represents Wisky, Ohio State, Purdue, Penn State, Indiana and Illinois.

Okay, so maybe you're more visual. Let's go back to geography then. Here are the 12 campuses, with colored dots for each division:


If you prefer to think about the East and West split, just envision these circles:


That's all well and good, but still not super helpful.

However, another way to look at it is this:


These shapes make a sideways blue "C" and a red "L". "Bluesy" has a nice ring to it, and conveniently includes Chicago, home of the blues and awesome American Buddy Guy. The "Red L" (also a Chicago reference, now that I think about it--damn.) contains three "red" schools (Wisky, OSU and Indy), and yeah, looks like an "L". And "Riddell" is the name of an athletics company, so that's pretty easy to remember.

So there you have it: "Bluesy" and "Reddell." Or "Main" and "Swoppii." Hell, it's no worse than "Leaders" and Legends," right?

Experienced Candidates Only

Good luck finding someone to qualify for this job (click to see bigger):

Why Harrison Ford Is Awesome (And the Red Eye Sucks)

Yeah, I know I've been quiet for a while. Yeah, the reason is mostly this and I definitely owe you some updates. I'm dippin' my toe back into the Internets with this piece here. Enjoy.

---

For our reader(s) outside Chicago, the Red Eye is a free daily newspaper aimed at stupid people. Now, that's not how they describe it: the paper's mission statement says it reaches "young, urban professionals who are short on time and long on disposable income."

To make sure the target audience doesn't have to think too hard, the articles are nice and short, mostly about bars or celebrities, with a minimum of actual news (economy, oil spill, etc). They don't use big words, and when they talk to celebrities, they don't pry too deep.

Witness this interview from January with Harrison Ford. It opens with this caveat:

If there is anything hard about interviewing Harrison Ford, it’s that the actor has amassed such a varied filmography of legendary highs (“Star Wars,” “Indiana Jones”), genre classics (“Blade Runner,” “The Fugitive”) and some pretty big stinkers (“Firewall”). There are simply too many questions to ask in a 15-minute window.

And this barn-burner of a first question:

Q: Let’s say someone tries to mug you on the street. You’ve got a light saber in one pocket and a whip in the other. Which do you go for?

A: [quiet laugh] I don’t know where to go with that. I think I would run away. As usual.

Q: What do you mean as usual?

A: Well, I mean I’m reaching deep into the depths of my soul and I’m telling you that I’m not playing a guy with a whip or a light saber if somebody’s trying to mug me on the street. It’s not a character; it’s just self-defense. Well, the character choice I would be making is ... You’re asking me, and I would tell you I would run away.

And yet, the Red Eye Guy came back to the issue later. Luckily, Ford was ready.

Q: You have a reputation of being a private guy. Why?

A: Because I am.

Q: Has anyone asked you anything that totally crossed the line?

A: Yeah.

Q: What’s the last thing?

A: Uh, it had something to do with a light saber and a whip.

And yet, if presented with intelligent questions, Ford is more than happy to offer intelligent responses. Tasha Robinson of The Onion's A.V. Club managed to both broach the issue of touchy interviews, and conduct a thoroughly readable Q-and-A.

The first exchange was:

The A.V. Club: You have a reputation for hating doing publicity interviews. Does having that out front help? Do you think it makes people approach you any differently?

Harrison Ford: I didn’t know that I had that reputation. I think that was something that—obviously you’ve done your research, but I think I was characterized that way early on in my career, and it stuck. I don’t mind doing interviews. I don’t mind answering thoughtful questions. But I’m not thrilled about answering questions like “If you were being mugged, and you had a lightsaber in one pocket and a whip in the other, which would you use?”

That line alone makes up for the over-the-top bellowing of "I ALREADY WORK AROUND THE CLOCK!" (which unfortunately, did not take off as a catchphrase quite like I'd hoped.)

2000 Words: Presidential First Pitch Form

Who do you want as a confident, athletic, "bring the heat" leader of the free world when throwing out the first pitch: this guy ...


or this guy?

Who Will Go Undefeated This Year?

Going undefeated in college football, even in a season of only 12 games, is extremely difficult. Rare is the season like 2004 when three teams finished undefeated (Auburn, Southern Cal, Oklahoma). More plausible is a scenario like 2007, when LSU got to the championship game with two losses (although to be fair, that was the first time that had happened).

To illustrate the improbability, let's take a quick look at a Top 10 team (according to Steele) expected to be favored in up to 11 of 12 games. Just because Notre Dame could or should win all its games doesn't mean it will. Remember that a team with a 90% probability of winning each of 12 games has a 28% chance of going undefeated, not 90%. That's because all 12 independent outcomes have to occur a certain way, meaning the math is .90 x .90 x.90 etc. (Statistics again on this blog. Who knew?)

I assigned an estimated probability of victory to each of ND's games. You can quibble over the margins but the point remains: despite being the likely favorite against everyone except Southern Cal, ND has only a 2% chance of an undefeated season, not 73%.

Likelihood of Going Undefeated

Game Number	Chance We'll Win	Opponent
1	0.90	Nevada
2	0.65	at Michigan
3	0.80	Michigan State
4	0.75	at Purdue
5	0.75	Washington
6	0.50	USC
7	0.55	Boston College
8	0.90	Washington State
9	0.85	Navy
10	0.60	at Pittsburgh
11	0.70	Connecticut
12	0.85	at Stanford
	Average: 0.7333	Season Total: 1.98%

But that's just an example to ask the question: who will go undefeated in 2009? Probably no one, if history is a guide, but who has a chance? Phil Steele has an idea: he ran the numbers through his Power Ratings system. (No, I don't know how he calculates the ratings--it's part of the proprietary magic that makes Steele Steele.)

For context, look at Phil's list of potential undefeated in 2008: Florida, Ohio State, Southern Cal, Oklahoma, Georgia, Missouri, West Virginia, South Florida, Clemson, Utah, BYU, Virginia Tech, Tulsa, Ball State. You might say that any schmuck could look at the Gators, Sooners and Trojans and say there's a chance they could run the table. (The fact they did not says more about the truth of my first paragraph than failings of the predictions.) What about a 10-4 Tulsa team (in 2007) that lost 3 of those 4 by 19+ points? What about a 7-6 Ball State team that did in fact go 12-0 before falling in their conference championship? How about Utah improving from 9-4 to 12-0?

In the 2009 magazine, Phil lists 17 schools that he thinks has a chance (i.e., one of more of his Power Ratings says so) to go undefeated: Florida, Texas, Southern Cal, Penn State, Pittsburgh, Notre Dame, Ole Miss, Oklahoma, Ohio State, Virginia Tech, Alabama, California, Illinois, Rutgers, Texas Christian, Boise State, Southern Mississippi.

We can winnow that 17 down to a max of 10 possible undefeateds:

• Ole Miss and Alabama play each other; a perfect SEC West champ would face an undefeated Florida in the conference title game. (minus 2)
• Texas and Oklahoma face off. (minus 1)
• One will be eliminated from the Southern Cal/ND/Cal mix, because USC plays both. (minus 1)
• The three Big Ten teams play round robin. (minus 2)
• Pitt and Rutgers play each other. (minus 1)

And Virginia Tech plays 'Bama to start the season, so that could get it down to nine. And it's hard to see Cal AND the Irish both beating Southern Cal, so you're down to eight, and so on.

Of course, the vagaries of injuries, turnovers and last second field goals make going undefeated nearly impossible. Phil doesn't say they will, only that they could. But keep an eye on these teams to see if they can pull it off.

Things I'm Thinking About Today

The day is almost over, but I'll probably be thinking about these things tomorrow too:

• Why isn't Memphis pronounced like Memp-Hiss (rhyme with hemp-hiss)? Doesn't that sound better?
  
• If I wrote a non-fiction book, what would it be about?
  
• Can I write something so witty and clever that Sarah Borges will leave a comment on the blog?

A ceiling tile from the Broken Singles' tour of Europe.

• Why did the Others want Jack, Kate, Hurley and Sawyer? Is it because they are the four biggest characters? And why did they want Hurley specifically if they were just going to let him go?
  
• How can you put on an exhibit about Edvard Munch and not have his most famous painting?
  
• When Molly and I are the last two people not on Facebook, will we talk to each other while the rest of the world updates their Facebook status?
  
• Is this the funniest one-second commercial in television history?