My Bracket Sucks

The tournament starts tomorrow (wrote this last night, posted today). I already hate my bracket.

First of all, allow me my Al Bundy moment. Every year I try to recapture the glory of 1991, when I picked 15 of the Sweet 16, 8 of 8, 4 of the Final Four and the two teams in the championship (picked the wrong winner ... I think the teams were Duke and UNLV, can never remember who won/who I picked). Over the years I have come close ... oh, OK fine I've hardly ever come close. Hell, the novice I advised will probably do better than I.

Yoda makes his champion pick known.

I'm a believer in a Bracket Of Integrity, a term popularized in 2008 by two guys both named Mike who have a radio/TV show. I realize it's all guessing anyway, but if I had it to do all over again*, this is what I woulda done:

Pay more attention to injury reports. I'm not revealing who my national champion pick is (OK, it's the same as the president and everyone else in the country), but oh by the way the point guard has an ouchie toe. There's enough talent on the team to survive without him for a game, maybe two, but ultimately his lack of health, even if he plays, will catch up to the Tar Heels.

Actually look where teams are playing. I've learned from football and previous March Madnei that travelling across the country wears on even the most talented athletes. East Coasters in California, West Coasters in the East, anybody from this side of the Mississippi in Boise--it's a recipe for disaster. Someone on this list is going down: Utah or Arizona State in Miami; Marquette, Xavier or Florida State in Boise; UCLA in Philly.

If you want to mock my bracket, it's right here ... as long as you're willing to reveal your own for mocking.

Boy my overlapping passions of sport and music make this so much fun.

Finally, one question: Finley, how far do you have Binghamton going? And can you find Binghamton on a map?

---

* Even though technically I COULD do it over again, I don't believe in multiple brackets. Besides, changing your answer is death, because then you kick yourself when your original pick pulls out the victory.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Party With Paddy

I can't believe it's here already, but Saturday is St. Patrick's Day (Chicago Observed), which means the annual downtown parade. I moved to Chicago in 1999, which means my first parade was probably 2000. Which means this year is the tenth anniversary. Which means we're partying hard, people. Hopefully no cats will get sick this year, so I'll be live and in person for this year's parade.

Quigley feeling his Irish.

Here's the deal. If you are a FOB (friend o' the blog) you know where we live. If you want to caravan downtown with us, be here before 10:30. If you want to start your day with a "MPF Special,"* come over a little earlier, about 10am. The parade starts at noon. We're leaving at 10:30 to get a decent spot on the parade route. Afterwards we're going to our traditional post-parade lunch spot, so have a good breakfast and/or a MPF Special*. After lunch we head back up north for unspecified activities and frivolity. No one knows what will occur. Maybe you'll steal a cop's hat. But I can tell you this, to paraphrase a recently viewed dumb movie: There Will Be Beer. Oh, and keep your eye out for any molesting Irish rabbits.

What, you think I was speaking figuratively?

More info on the city's website here. My favorite part of this site was that it recommended the parade for "multicultural Chicago enthusiasts." I guess that's one way to describe me.

Finally: Longtime readers know my distrust of monarchy. However there is one day in the year I will acknowledge a royal authority, and so bow down to honor your 2009 St. Patrick's Day Queen.


* --my co-author loves it.**
**--that's not dirty. Other guests can have one too.

Nation’s FM Radio Surrenders, Agrees to Play U2 All Day Tuesday

WASHINGTON (AP) – Program directors for America’s FM radio stations agreed late Sunday to turn over the airwaves on Tuesday to superstar band U2, which apparently has a new album coming out.

“It is important to let the people know about this record, and the best way is to play U2 nonstop (Tuesday),” said Adam Stevenson, president of the National Radio Directors Association (NRDA), in a press conference this morning. “I guess the Fray and Clapton and Sheryl Crow will have to wait until Wednesday.”

Lead singer Bono declares victory over all other bands.

The all-day assault has been dubbed “U2sday” by the NRDA and Interscope Records, the band’s record label.

“We’re very excited to play The Horizon Line, the latest five-star effort from U2,” mumbled Jeffery Walhlberg, program director for WHFD in Hartford, Conn., shuffling the papers in his hand.

“I don’t even see what the big deal is,” he continued. “They aren’t even American, they are from Dublin Irel—” before being physically dragged off the stage by a representative of Interscope.

Stacey Alberts of Bozeman, Mont., hears something about "boots" playing incessantly.

The decision to acquiesce came just before midnight Eastern time on Sunday, allowing for a 24-hour publicity blitz on Monday.

“We recognize the outcome is a difficult one for many of our loyal listeners,” said Carolyne Dipesto, music director for alternative punk station WBZZ in Burlington, Vt. “However, it was best for the interests of the nation. Besides, these guys rock.”

Classic rock stations went a step further, announcing “U2-fer Tuesdays” on their stations.

“We’ll be here all day, playing rock blocks of your favorite … well, of U2 at least,” declared disc jockey Bobby Steele of K-Rock (KRQK-FM) in Wichita, Kans. “If you hear a one-fer of, ah, anybody, I guess, be the third caller on the Rock Line and you’ll win a prize from our Rock Vault. Probably a copy of that new U2 CD.”

In a related move, the nation’s four largest wireless carriers announced a gesture of solidarity with the FM radio stations. Sprint-Nextel, T-Mobile, Verizon Wireless and AT&T said that on Tuesday, all text messages with the words “you,” “ewe,” “too” or “to” must be rendered as the single character “U” or “2.”

Exempted from the pact were the nation’s AM radio operators. In a prepared statement, they said were happy to provide a safe haven for America's radio listeners from the U2 onslaught, and that they would have traffic and weather together next after a word from their sponsors.

--30--

Best of MPF 2008: Bonus Tracks

Every year I put out a "best of" list. And every year, starting a day or two after the release, I remember things I wished I'd put in there, or categories from previous years I left out. With this new blog technology, I can now create an addendum, instead of sending out five followup emails to say "Ooh! One more I forgot!"

Worst song (pop): Katy Perry's "I Kissed A Girl." Metallic, droning, uninteresting, unmusical, and far inferior to the 1994 Jill Sobule song she ripped off.

Best no-hitter watched: Big Z. We started watching in the 2nd inning, and midway through the game TM commented, hey, Z hasn't given up a hit yet. So often you catch the final out or two of a no-hitter, when a national sports network cuts in. Rarely do you see a game like that essentially from the beginning. (Sept. 14)


Best opening act: Alejandro Escovedo, opening for Old 97's at the XRT Free Fourth of July concert. Technically, the 97's were an opener too, for Gomez. But everybody left after their set. I'm sorry, but to celebrate American independence from Britain, you simply DO NOT book a British band for the holiday concert.

Technology I think is stupid and unnecessary and thus I'll probably be using in three years: Facebook. In five years: Twitter. (If this category existed three years ago the winner would have been "blogging.")

Most humane moment: Marketa Irglova, with Glen Hansard, won the Oscar for their fantastic song "Falling Slowly." But as she approached the microphone, she was cut off by outro music. After a commercial break, host Jon Stewart invited her back on stage to finish her thank-yous. According to this article, it was the EP and not Stewart who made the decision to bring her back. No matter. Stewart handled the situation with class and grace. (Feb. 24)

This was nice.

Best taunt of a rival: In August, UCLA's athletic department bought this full-page ad in the LA Times. Keep in mind, Neuheisel's UCLA record at the time was 0-0.


Someone in the USC Internet world created this:


Oh, and how about Best T-shirt, seen at the Notre Dame-Michigan game:


OK, fine, so I didn't technically see that shirt at the game. But I did see this one:


And who would wear such a thing? This fine gentleman.

More LOLcats

More bad news today: the Rocky Mountain News is shutting down, which means three of my friends from Omaha (John, Mac and Glav) are out of work tomorrow (Friday).

So from a coping mechanism perspective, you know what that means: a lotta this and more LOLcats.

First off, here are some I built of our favorite Internet superstar kitty.


Which caption do you like better, this:

or this?

(Credit to Sarah O for taking and sharing this pic.)

Two things I love about the I Can Has Cheezburger site. One, random people can leave captions for any pictures made public. For example, I wrote this caption:


Thought it was pretty funny. Until I saw this submission:

from a random person on the Internet whom I do not know.

And two, you can find great pictures that just make you laugh. It's tax season for us right now, so in recognition:


and finally, this is THE MOST CUTEST THING EVAH (SUPERLATIVES REQUIRED CAUSE THIS IS THE INTERNET NO NEED FOR PERSPECTIVE OR TEMPERED REASON why am I shouting):

1000 Words: When Tina Is Away

(that's her side of the bed)

Things I'm Thinking About Today

The day is almost over, but I'll probably be thinking about these things tomorrow too:

• Why isn't Memphis pronounced like Memp-Hiss (rhyme with hemp-hiss)? Doesn't that sound better?
  
• If I wrote a non-fiction book, what would it be about?
  
• Can I write something so witty and clever that Sarah Borges will leave a comment on the blog?

A ceiling tile from the Broken Singles' tour of Europe.

• Why did the Others want Jack, Kate, Hurley and Sawyer? Is it because they are the four biggest characters? And why did they want Hurley specifically if they were just going to let him go?
  
• How can you put on an exhibit about Edvard Munch and not have his most famous painting?
  
• When Molly and I are the last two people not on Facebook, will we talk to each other while the rest of the world updates their Facebook status?
  
• Is this the funniest one-second commercial in television history?

Musta Got Lost

It is a strange quirk of the human brain that when the unknown is made known, the newly known appears common. I'm talking specifically about meeting someone new in a large but finite population, such as an employee at your office or parishoner at your church. You are introduced to a new person who works in a different department or on a different floor. Suddenly, you see this person all over: in the hallways, in the cafeteria, at the company-wide town hall meetings. Of course, you aren't really seeing this new person everywhere: it's just that you now recognize as a friend this formerly anonymous face.

It works the same way with songs. I noticed it during one of the great "name that tune" games in Dan Renaldo's office. It was me vs. Dan (as usual) with Zach and Stan also playing. Stan is about 10 years older than I am. Dan played a live song with a spoken intro. He seemed stunned that I didn't recognize it. Stan said, oh, this is J. Geils Band. The only J. Geils Band I knew was "Centerfold" . . . like I said, I was a little too young for them. Stan went on to identify the tune as Musta Got Lost, which I'd never heard before. Now, of course, I know the song and hear it "everywhere."

This post is about neither people nor songs, but I think it's a pretty cool title for the post, because it's about "Lost." This is a fascinating television series, now available in its entirety on the Internet. I enjoy it because it is a richly told complex tale of the survivors of a plane crash.

I'm sure that thousands of words and billions of pixels have been spilled over this show, since there are multiple subtexts and mysteries involved. But I wanted to talk about the themes of what brought these people to the flight (Sydney to Los Angeles) that crashed. I noticed that almost everyone was either on a mission, or was facing life and death issues. If it's been a while since you watched Season 1, or you have been preoccupied with moving to Madison or something, I've put together a chart. See below:

Why Were They On Oceanic 815?

Character	Reason for LA to Sydney	Reason for Sydney to LA
Jack	DEATH--retrieve the body of his father who died in Australia	DEATH--bring the body back to the U.S.
Kate	LIFE--she was running for her life from authorities	LIFE--the sentence she would receive?
Locke	LIFE-CHANGING MISSION to do an Outback walkabout	Was he successful? Did he find his destiny?
Hurley	MISSION to find the story behind the numbers	Was he successful? I guess so??
Jin and Sun	?? I have no idea. If they said why they were on that flight, I missed it.
Michael and Walt	DEATH--Michael goes to get Walt in Australia after his mother died.	LIFE--beginning a new life together in America.
Sayid	LIFE--must trick his friend to find the love of his life.	LIFE and DEATH--the death of his friend, the chance at a new life.
Boone	MISSION to retrieve Shannon from her abusive Australian boyfriend	Successful? Yes.
Shannon	Unknown so far--last I knew she was heading to New York.	LIFE--I assuming she's getting a new lease on life with Boone.
Rose	mouse over to see this Season 2 info.	Successful? No.
Sawyer	DEATH--to kill Frank Duckett, the "real" Sawyer.	Successful? Yes ... and no.
Charlie	MISSION to convince his brother to restart Drive Shaft.	Successful? No.
Claire	N/A--resident of Sydney.	LIFE --to give the baby up for adoption.

If you're curious what all the talk is about, check it out at ABC's website. I will alert you that I kept getting error messages using the viewer in IE, and Firefox worked better for me.

Things I'm Not Paying Attention To

Some people start a blog to inform the world what they ate for breakfast and what they think about crap like Mentos*. Some people start a blog to praise their favorite band or something else they care deeply about. Few blogs will discuss what's currently being ignored...

Things I'm not paying attention to, February 2009 edition.

The Oscars. Despite my recently documented passion for movies, I could care less about the Oscars. I like to restrict my Oscar paying-attention-to to decade-old Dennis Miller monologues. In a few weeks someone will win, someone will lose, and a few weeks after that no one will give a shit or even remember who won.

The economic stimulus package. Being out of work, it is possible that I should care. However, the size and scope of the plan has been changing constantly over the past couple weeks. I've been a fan of Obama since the last time I wasn't paying attention, but I just can't muster attention here. This is the federal government we're talking about. It will be months before they get to the projects funded by the stimulus, and it appears to be mostly infrastructure: building roads, bridges, schools. Admirable projects, but I don't want to build a bridge this fall, I want to get to work now.

PRESIDENT Obama. It's been a few weeks, and it is still pretty mindblowing to hear those words.

Who's coming to town (musically speaking). This is due to being low on money, and this is sad. I've already missed Kathleen Edwards, Rhett Miller and a road trip to Southgate House. I just can't pay attention to who else I'll miss.

The rules of the Grammys. How can a record released in 2007 win best album in 2009? I mean, I guess they have their rationale, but it's bullshit to me. If you're going to call it an award for 2008, make it for albums released in 2008.

Darwin's birthday. I guess he's 200 years old or something. Not sure why people care. Did he ever free the slaves? No. What's he famous for anyway? He wrote some book about fruit: Oranges and Peaches. Big deal. I've read the book of Genesis, and I didn't see his name once.

The Allman Brothers don't know from oranges, but they do have some advice for Mr. Darwin.

Oh, and a late-breaking thing to not pay attention to: Brett Farve, Favruh, whatever. Can this guy just quit, please, and mean it?

*--Lame.

How to Tell a Good Movie: Part II

In Part I, we discussed the seven key attributes of good movies. To complete the list, here are the three optional traits. These are not required for a good movie, they just simply add to an already good movie, or potentially redeem a not-so-good movie.

Swearing. A few curse words used for effect can enliven a movie and increase the realism. Take The Big Lebowski or Superbad. These movies are funny on their own, but the well-timed/frequent swearing makes it all the more enjoyable. The absence example could be Napoleon Dynamite. This movie wasn’t good at all, despite the hype, but it wasn’t due to the lack of swearing. Geez! Gyosh! Likewise, swearing alone won’t make a bad movie good: I’m looking at you, Phone Booth and Snatch.

Boobs. Let’s face it, everybody loves beautiful women—even straight women. And while boobs alone can’t make a bad movie suddenly good, they are nice to look at. Boobs can make a sexy movie like Damage sexier, a funny movie like Caddyshack even funnier, or a just plain weird movie like Mulholland Drive a little easier to watch.

Stuff blowing up. Now, this may seem to contradict what I said about big-budget action blockbusters, where they replace dialogue with stuff blowing up. It’s important to understand that explosions are a supplement, not a requirement. In a movie like Independence Day or Speed, there is action and pacing and plot (however thin) that propels the movie. In a movie like Elizabethtown, well, maybe that could’ve used some stuff blowing up.

So now we’ve got the seven main and three optional elements. Several all-time greats, plus a handful of others, are scored according to my system in the spreadsheet. (Keep in mind the tally is directional, not purely numerical. A “7” isn’t automatically better than a “6”.)

Click here to view the MPF Good Movie System in action. If that's not working, try this non-graphic version. Commentaries on the best ones:

The Blues Brothers: Clearly a good movie because it contains seven of the 10 traits, including the rare trifecta of music, Chicago and Nazis. (Joliet Jake hates Illinois Nazis.) In addition, things blow up (a phone booth, Elwood’s hotel) and they swear in front of a nun.

Being on a mission from God could qualify as a moral theme of right and wrong.

The Godfather: A sweeping epic with an understated score, that haunting theme that echoes throughout. It’s got moral conflict (Michael shooting the cop), boobs (Appalonia) and mobsters(recognized as Nazis under the Mafia Corollary).

Oooh, and it's got cannolis. We loved getting cannolis in Little Italy, down by Chinatown.

The Sting: Set in Chicago, Robert Redford seeks out Paul Newman to get revenge on a mobster-type who killed his friend. Funny dialogue, occasional swearing, and Scott Joplin ragtime music.

Almost Famous: Aside from the fantastic music (at least three dozen great songs) and storytelling, it contains probably the best scene in cinema this decade. The decade is only 91% complete but I feel safe in calling it.

Clear and Present Danger: Great moral themes, great tension and superbly drawn characters. And stuff blows up.

The Fugitive: Take the best of C&PD, the best of The Sting, throw in Inspector Javert from Les Miserables, and you’ve got a movie much stronger than its “6” score.

The Big Lebowski: I didn’t realize how much I loved this movie til I got it for Christmas. It comes so close to scoring on Character Development (Walter, MAYBE) and Nazis.

Donny: Are these the Nazis, Walter?
Walter Sobchak: No, Donny, these men are nihilists, there's nothing to be afraid of.

The Dude abides with a score of 5.5.

Say Anything: Basically, it's Almost Famous, set in Seattle, no boobs.

Mystic River: Stunning, dark character tale of three friends in Boston. A murder brings back old scars from childhood. Great plot, great dialogue, great themes of right and wrong.

The Sound of Music: Make fun of this for being cheesy if you dare, but check out the scores: music, Nazis and right & wrong give it a solid 6.

And by request, The Cutting Edge: A movie about ice skating. I recall nothing special about it: it scores a “2” for plot (it had one) and character development (the ice queen thaws at the end).

It’s been a while since I’ve seen many of these, so if there’s a factual error, leave it in the comments. Please feel free to use this rating system when you’re trying to decide what to watch/rent. Happy screenings!

How to Tell a Good Movie

Let's clear up a misconception. People often say to me: “You don’t like movies.” This is not true. I think it is more accurate to say: “I don’t like spending money on the empty Hollywood productions that do not contribute anything to society.” After all, I bet I’ve seen more movies at independent/arthouse venues in this town (Music Box, Facets, Gene Siskel) than you have. At least I’m not as dismissive as the poet Rivers Cuomo who said: “Movies are as bad as eating chocolate ice cream: they only sicken me.”

Look at it this way. The section of the newspaper where movie listings are found is called “Arts and Entertainment,” or something similar. Too many modern movies are missing the “art,” and usually fail badly in their attempt at “entertainment” as well. I want to watch movies that are enjoyable and hopefully have some lasting impact on culture.

But where to start? There were almost 1000 movies released last year—not even dedicated cinephiles can see all of them. Luckily, I’m here to help. I’m pleased to present (“an MPF004 Production of a TMMPF.com post”) the second in my “How To Tell” series: How to Tell a Good Movie. Just look for a movie that contains most or all of the characteristics listed below.

A quick word on terminology: Example supports my point. Absence example shows how bad movies lack the trait in question and bolsters my point. Counterexample challenges my theory with good movies lacking the trait. Rebuttal lists bad movies with the trait. And a note: These are guidelines, not ironclad rules. The presence of attributes does not guarantee a good movie; absence does not guarantee it’ll suck. However, if you find a good movie absent most or all of these traits, I’d love to know about it.

Does True Grit = Truly Great in the MPF system?

Plot. This may seem obvious, but you’d be surprised how many movies don’t have one, and how many potentially good movies are hampered by lame ones.

Example: Malice, The Usual Suspects. Malice has a nice setup: the lives of an ordinary New England couple, trying to get pregnant, are upset when a surgeon they know operates on the woman after a car accident. Then things get dicey from there. Similarly, Usual Suspects weaves information into the plot that keeps the viewer guessing until the very end.
Absence example: Dude Where’s My Car. This movie has no plot and is not a good movie.
Counterexample: You could make an argument that documentaries don’t have a plot per se. But their topic is the plot, in a sense. Plus good documentaries like Wordplay find a way to generate plot amid the most mundane of topics.

Dialogue. I’m talking intelligent dialogue here, conversations that reveal character details, further the plot or provoke emotion. (This became more important when the “talkies” were introduced in the 1920s.)

Example: Anything by John Sayles, especially Lone Star. The characters’ conversations with each other drive the movie and force you to reconsider each one’s motivations. (I saw John Sayles on a cable movie channel once and he introduced the film this way: “I’m John Sayles, you’re going to watch my movie Lone Star. It’s about {pauses, thinking} people who have more in common with each other than they realize.”) Others: Ed Burns’ first two movies, Last Days of Disco.
Absence example: Snakes on a Plane-type blockbusters and slasher flicks. Generally these movies are driven by hype and star power, and contain nothing worth hearing. And they usually aren’t good movies.
Counterexample: Cast Away. Haven’t seen it, but apparently Tom Hanks goes hours and hours without talking, and people liked it.

Character development. In good movies, the characters learn from their mistakes, go through a transformation, understand how the world works or just grow up as human beings in general.

Example: You Can Count On Me, Superbad. Mark Ruffalo’s wounded, brooding character learns to let go of pain through his dealings with his sister (Laura Linney) and nephew (Rory Culkin). Likewise, the Superbad kids learn a little about life and women and come out better for it.
Absence example: Rain Man. The Rain Man character is exactly the same person at the end of the movie as the beginning. Therefore, this is not a good movie. (This is a joke.)
Counterexample: Ummm, Beavis and Butt-Head Do America? That was pretty funny, and nobody evolves or learns anything.

Well, *I* thought it was funny.

Nazis. Everybody hates the Nazis. They were the biggest threat to civilization in the 20th century. And nothing, not the Russkies during the Cold War or Arab terrorists post-Cold War, can fill the role of enemy in a good film quite like a batch of goose-stepping Nazis.

Example: Casablanca, Schindler’s List, The Sound of Music, Raiders of the Lost Ark.
Absence example: Drillbit Taylor. No Nazis, not a good movie.
Counterexample: Shaft. John Shaft is a bad (shut your mouth), and Bumpy is a gangster. No Nazis but still pretty awesome. Although I should mention here the Mafia Corollary, which states mobsters have a similar tendency to make a good film.
Rebuttal: Is it possible to make a not-great movie with Nazis in it? I didn’t see Valkyrie, but it had Nazis, heard it was only fair.

Music. Saying one art form is necessary in another art form sounds like using meat as a condiment on meat. But it’s true: the right music at the right time can transport a movie from good to great.

Example: Almost Famous, West Side Story, movies about bands (like I Am Trying to Break Your Heart or Stop Making Sense). Everyone knows how incredible the boombox scene is from Say Anything or the “Tiny Dancer” scene from Almost Famous. I could go on and on here.
Absence example: Charlie’s Angels 2: Full Throttle. Didn’t see it, but there was no memorable music. Not a good movie.
Counterexample: Swimming Pool. This movie had no music to speak of, and it was good. It did have other key attributes, however.
Rebuttal: The only bad movie with good music I can think of is Empire Records. Great tunes, worthless film. I'm Not There wasn't awful, but a movie with all Dylan songs should be better than it was.

Chicago. New York greatest city blah blah spare me. You want real film action, you come here. Some of cinema’s most memorable movies made their home right here in the Windy City.

Example: Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, the Sting, the el chase scene in The French Connection.
Absence example: Sex in the City. Not set in Chicago. Didn’t see it, guessing it was set in Manhattan.
Counterexample: Forrest Gump. A very good movie, set in rural Alabama and the worldly places Gump visits. Chicago not on the list.
Rebuttal: What Women Want. Being set in Chicago was about the only noteworthy thing about this film where Mel Gibson can read women's minds.

A good excuse to run the picture of Steve McCroskey.

Strong moral themes of right and wrong. You can have a movie about a dog or a tornado or whatever, but if you want to go for greatness, you need characters tested by big fat universal choices of good vs. evil.

Example: Most any Harrison Ford movie will do (especially Clear and Present Danger but also Frantic and the third Indiana Jones); The Limey. This overlooked indie gem stars Terence Stamp as a ex-con who travels to Los Angeles to find out who killed his adult daughter. Unrelated but very cool: the director used clips from Stamp’s films in the 1960s to portray the character as a younger man in flashbacks.
Absence example: Helvetica. This 2007 documentary about the ubiquitous font contains no moral themes. Helvetica just ... is. (I'm not saying it was an awful film--but it was a documentary about a font, after all.)

There are your seven key traits. In Part II, I’ll discuss the three optional attributes, and we’ll run some of the best films I know through the gauntlet to find some truly great movies.

Anybody think this will make the list?

Catching Up With the Cagers

I was a huge college basketball fan as a kid. Perhaps my earliest sports memory is Steve Carfino, Bobby Hansen and the Lute Olsen-led Hawkeyes going to the 1980 Final Four. I remember watching the 1983 Phi Slamma Jamma Houston team on the crappy black-and-white TV in my grandparents' basement, the set with a pull-on knob that took about 30 seconds to warm up and show a picture. They seemed so invincible, until Lorenzo Charles grabbed that air ball and dunked it home for the national championship.

I remember being in the motorhome when Villanova upset Georgetown in 1985. I remember "Never Nervous" Pervis Ellison and Louisville, and so many other great games.

Over the years my interest in hoops waned. I don't know if it was the general trend of the game: too much NBA-style "look at me" cockiness, not enough passing and teamwork. Maybe it was Bowlsby's trade of Dr. Tom, the all-time winningest coach at Iowa, for Steve-O. Dr. Tom won more NCAA tournament games in his first year at Iowa (three) than Steve-O in his eight-year tenure (one).

Oh how I miss these days.

But slowly I've been coming back to watching and following the Hawks, and now the Irish. Enough intro, let's check in on this year's squads.

Notre Dame. Excitement over last year's great Irish team was tempered by the early flameout in the Big East tournament and the collapse against Washington State, scoring an Iowa-esque 41 points over 40 minutes. Almost everyone returned, Luke Harangody remains a beast, and the Irish climbed to the Top Ten earlier this month.

Alas, the brutal Big East schedule has taken its toll. I wasn't too concerned about early losses to North Carolina or Ohio State, but four straight conference defeats could mess with their confidence. Yes they were all to ranked teams, but ND was ranked for those games as well. You gotta beat someone you're supposed to beat to be taken seriously nationally, especially in a league as tough as the Big East.

Harangody has been the Brady Quinn of hoops: doing everything you can ask for a guy at his position, national player-of-the-year candidate, and conducting himself with passion and grace. But where the hell are the other guys? Normally opposing coaches try to shut down the star and force the lesser players to beat you. This year, no one is stopping 'Gody, but the other four dudes are invisible. McAlarney can't get off a three to save his life. (I credit opposing coaches for smart strategy, but c'mon, Kyle.) Where's our point guard? Tory Jackson showed flashes of being the guy to control pace and maintain calm, but during the Cuse game he looked as lost as everyone else. Ayers doesn't have to score 25 a night, but he can't just lurk in the shadows. Top Ten teams have role players that step up. With Pittsburgh (No. 1 a few weeks ago) on Saturday, it's time to step up.

Iowa. Year Two of the Lickliter debacle is in full swing. Okay, maybe debacle is too strong, implying that it was partially his fault. But this team is nigh unwatchable. The offense is plodding, barely scoring a point per minute of action. In fact, a fun game-within-a-game is watching Iowa's dance with the point-per-minute Mendoza line. "...with 13 minutes left in the second half, Iowa has 26 points through 27 minutes of play!"

But the real problem is the guys on the team. Yes they have no talent, but I'm talking about a bigger problem: the names. Peterson, Davis, Fuller, Kelly, Cole, Tucker ... it's as if Lickliter went through a phone book looking for guys to recruit*. At least we have one guy named after a geometry concept and the President of the United States.

Whoops. Wrong David Palmer.

In their defense, we do have one awesomely named guy: Davan Bawinkel**.

Hell, this is how I explained the recent Minnesota loss to a friend:

Take a not-very-good team to begin with. (ie: short, white, young, low scoring. there's some potential, but no reason to expect greatness). Then you subtract the two best players (the high scoring guard and the only tall man). Then you go on the road to a ranked team on a Sunday morning. The only possible, rational outcome is a blowout. I wasn't home to watch it, and wasn't surprised when i flipped on the TV w/ 4 minutes left, down by 25-30 pts. Hell, even NWU beat Minny. subtract them from the potential win column. perhaps we were lucky to beat Indy before they start jelling.

The upset win over Wisconsin hasn't changed anything. Iowa has probably the 10th best team (behind Indiana) and the 10th best program (behind Northwestern) in the conference. That's a lot of looking up.

* I know he didn't recruit all of them.
** Did you know without clicking the link that he is white?

Christmas LOLCats

Lord, I'm discouraged. In these dismal times (economy and weather-wise), I could use some cheering up. And you know what cheers people up? LOLcats.

If you are unfamiliar with this Internet phenomenon, get caught up at LOLCats.com or I Can Has Cheezburger.

And hey, everyone loves Christmas, right? So to extend the holiday, here are Christmas LOLcats, starring Quigley.

* * *

If you want to write your own captions, you can do so at ICHC's LOLbuilder. (This link should take you to the Q pictures.)

BEST OF MPF 2008

BEST DAY: Feb. 23. It may sound hokey, but Tina and I were at a waterpark in Wisconsin Dells. We played on the water rides, enjoyed an outdoor hot tub, had a couple nice meals, and warmed ourselves by the fireplace in our hotel room.

WORST DAY: June 12, helplessly watching KCRG’s coverage of the CR floods, via the Internet. Runner-up: Dec. 3, when I lost my job.

BEST SHOW: Wilco at the Riviera, part of a five-night stand where they played everything from their catalog (Feb. 18).

Totally awesome.

BEST RECORD: "Asking for Flowers" by Kathleen Edwards knocked me out. I kept coming back to it, and like a well-made movie, you find new things every time you revisit it: new colors, new flavors, tones and meaning. It ranges from her pissed-off defiance to humor to the achingly sad (see next item). (And the listeners of WFUV agreed.) Honorable mention: Alejandro Escovedo “Real Animal”; The Hold Steady “Stay Positive.”

BEST SONG: Maybe it was the way everything fell apart this year, or all the goodbye emails I read from laid-off Tribune employees, but the song that defined the year was the regretful, bittersweet “Viva la Vida” by Coldplay. However, the Best Song of 2008 is “Alicia Ross” by Kathleen Edwards.

When you hear the song, you want to know more. Once you know the story, you can never forget it.

BEST ARTIST: Best Album, Best Song, you guessed it … Kathleen Edwards.

BEST COVER: Blue Oyster Cult's "Burnin' for You" by the Hold Steady with Patterson Hood of Drive By Truckers on lead vocal, Nov. 14, the Riviera. (You can get a taste of it here. )

WORST COVER: Patterson Hood again, with bassist Shonna Tucker, absolutely ruined the Hold Steady’s rarely played “Chill Out Tent.”

BEST COVER OF GENIUS BY GENIUS: Neil Young’s encore performance of Lennon/McCartney’s “A Day in the Life” (Dec. 7).

BEST BLOG: Tell Zell chronicled the idiocy and mismanagement of the Sam Zell takeover, including his outright disrespect of quality journalism, until its sudden end in October. (I contributed this item here.)

BEST SPORTS BLOG: The guys at Black Heart Gold Pants did an excellent job of chronicling the year in Hawkeye sports, from the struggling hoops to off-field scandal to the resurgent football team, all with a mix of juvenile humor, JoePa spoofs and biting analysis.

BEST SINGLE PODCAST: NPR produced "The Giant Pool of Money," an hourlong explanation of the subprime mortgage crisis, told in plain English with very little jargon.

WEIRDEST CATHEDRAL: Our Lady of the Angels in Los Angeles.

BEST NEWS STORY ABOUT A CAT: It’s hard to top a wild cougar on the loose in Roscoe Village, a neighborhood about a mile away from us, in the middle of Chicago (April 15).

BEST MOVIE: I didn’t see any movies made in 2008.

BEST TV SHOW: I don’t think I watched any TV program (excludes news and sports) more than once. Maybe “Grey’s Anatomy” back in spring.

BEST ROAD TRIP: To Wisconsin, for Kelly and Josh’s wedding and the Leinenkugel’s brewery tour (July 11-13).

BEST AD: No single ad, but I liked the continuing campaigns of the Miller High Life truck driver and “I’m a Mac/I’m a PC.”

WORST AD: Perennial nominee Illinois Lottery wins again, for the “REE-play for RRR-attch-ESS!” (summer) and “C’mon Let It Snow” (winter) campaigns.

BEST PICTURE: How about me, throwing out the first pitch at a minor-league baseball game. Check out the form:

BEST CANDIDATE ON A MAJOR PARTY TICKET: Barack Obama (Senator of Illinois).

WORST CANDIDATE ON A MAJOR PARTY TICKET: Sarah Palin.

BEST FOOTBALL GAME: (tie) Notre Dame took an early lead on Michigan then cruised to a 35-17 win in the rain (Sept. 13). Shonn Greene put on a show as Iowa throttled Wisconsin 38-16 (Oct. 18).

BEST/WORST BASEBALL GAMES: Cubs playoffs games, both losses. (Oct. 1-2)

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ALMA MATER'S SPORTS TEAM: Easily, the winner is the Drake men’s basketball team, who came out of nowhere to win the Missouri Valley conference regular season and title, earning a No. 5 seed in the NCAA tournament. (Jan-March)


There it is. Let's hope and pray 2009 is a good year for you and your family. Your thoughts and comments welcome below.

--MPF004.

Best Of 2008 Nominees: The Shows

Dennis Miller hit his creative peak, in my opinion, with his HBO show "Dennis Miller Live." Several things made this venue better than his previous stint on the Weekend Update desk at "Saturday Night Live" or his future stints as football snarker-in-chief or talk radio agitator.

For starters, Miller had a commercial-free hour to himself, rather than 8-10 minutes punctuated by A. Whitney Brown giving the Big Picture, Dana Carvey commenting on today's society as Grumpy Old Man, or Adam Sandler singing/giggling something on an acoustic guitar. (67% of those interruptions, by the way, were totally enjoyable.) With the extra time, he could go into an extended monologue (the "rant"), chat with a single guest on a single topic, and then shoot off the one-liner captions to photos that were a hallmark of his Weekend Update gig.

This essay is not about Dennis Miller or "Dennis Miller Live."

Since the show was in fact live, it retained the energy that SNL had, and it allowed him to react with a live audience. Also, he had basically come straight off network TV, so being on HBO allowed him to say "fuck" as often as he wanted, and other dirty words.

One of the most memorable episodes was in March 1998, when he previewed the upcoming Academy Awards with brief descriptions of Best Picture nominees "The Full Monty," "LA Confidential" and "Good Will Hunting." He said a sentence or two about each one and why it might win. And then he starting talking about the sprawling "Titanic," the epic that dwarfed all others. It led into his rant* and summarized why no other movie had (let's phrase it this way in honor of his curse-laden show) no fucking chance of winning in the face of such a montrous, obvious frontrunner.

Anybody remember this movie? Came out about 10 years ago?

One of these 2008 shows is Titanic. The others, no matter how good they were ... are the others. Links included for shows that got reviewed, previewed or otherwise mentioned on the blog during the year.

• Feb. 14: Sarah Borges @ Fitzgerald's
• Feb. 18: Wilco @ the Riv (part of their five-night stand)
• Mar. 28: Gary Louris @ Metro
• Apr. 5: Kathleen Edwards @ Metro
• May 21: Avenue Q @ Cadillac Palace Theatre (musical, not a show, but still music)
• June 5: Old 97's @ Metro
• June 18: Robert Plant/Alison Krauss @ Ravinia
• July 2: Sarah Borges @ Fitzgerald's
• July 4: Alejandro Escovedo and Old 97's @ Grant Park (XRT Free Fourth of July Concert)
• July 5: Bonnie Raitt @ Taste of Chicago
• July 19: The Hold Steady (and others) at Pitchfork Music Festival
• Aug. 5: She and Him @ Park West
• Aug. 22: Soul Asylum @ Lincoln Park Zoo
• Sept. 1: Aimee Mann and Squeeze @ Ravinia
• Oct. 11: Tift Merritt @ Americana Music Festival (outside Soldier Field)
• Oct. 25: Gary Louris @ Old Town School of Folk Music
• Nov. 14: The Hold Steady @ the Riv
• Dec. 9: Neil Young @ Allstate Arena (the Rosemont Horizon)
• Dec. 14: Shawn Colvin @ Park West

* Not technically the exact order according to a version I found online, but it's how I remember it.

Best of 2008 Nominees: Best Record

People are starting to ask about the Best Of 2008 list (at least five so far: Leigh, Joe, Kelly, TM, Igoe). So I'm going to get that rolling here. But I'm going to introduce a couple categories to whet your appetite today.

Much like how there is a Grammy category for Best Classical Instrumental Soloist Performance (Without Orchestra), the Best Of list has a bunch of categories only purists care about. But most people pay attention to the biggies: Day, Album, Show, etc. So here's a rundown of nominees for Best Album (listed in an order only TM will probably get):

• Baseball Project, Volume 1: Frozen Ropes and Dying Quails
• Dolly Varden, 13
• Alejandro Escovedo, Real Animal
• Gary Louris, Vagabonds
• Scott Miller, Appalachian Refugee
• Scott Miller, For Crying Out Loud
• Old 97's, Blame It On Gravity
• Kasey Chambers/Shane Nicholson, Rattlin' Bones
• Sheryl Crow, Detours
• Kathleen Edwards, Asking for Flowers
• Jenny Lewis, Acid Tongue
• Tift Merritt, Another Country
• She and Him, Volume One
• Bob Dylan, Tell Tale Signs: Bootleg Series, Vol. 8
• Paul Westerberg, 49:00
• Counting Crows, Saturday Nights and Sunday Mornings
• The Hold Steady, Stay Positive
• R.E.M, Accelerate
• Vetiver, To Find Me Gone
• Various, FUV Live Volume 11
• Various, XRT Live from the Archives: Volume 11

A quick explanation/review of the nominees:

Baseball Project is a side effort of Scott McCaughey (Minus Five) and friends like Peter Buck (R.E.M.). A must have for diehard baseball fans, they wrote a dozen or so songs about the nation's pastime. A sample of names covered: Ted Williams, Oscar Gamble's huge afro, all the guys who have thrown a perfect game, Willie Mays, Fernando Valenzuela, Curt Flood.

Dolly Varden is a great local band who have been together for 13 years. To celebrate, they released a double-disc set of greatest hits and rarities. Included is a great, lovely version of Alex Chilton's "13."

Escovedo's latest was a bit of a disappointment, only because he turned away from his distinctive Americana sound he's perfected over the years to revisit his punk-rock roots. While this record grew on me for its own merits, I missed the strings and the Texas plaintiveness. Instead, this is more of an homage to the late 70's punk scene. (Of course he's so versatile it's hard to fault him.)

Louris released his first post-Jayhawks record, and it was pretty good. It doesn't overreach its grasp, just adds to the Louris canon with songs like "Omaha Nights" and the title track.

Appalachian is a set of demos Miller put out that was available only in limited release through his website. (TM jumped on it, of course.) The demos show him getting back to a more homey, authentic sound, as opposed to the Citation record that we felt was a little too polished for him. Appalachian also has the funniest legal disclaimer about not sharing/selling/trading the music, spoken by the artist himself. Many of the demos (with the notable exception of "People Who Rule") ended up on the official record....

...The end result of Miller's demos was this full length record, released in limited edition right before the end of the year. This sounds more like his first two records, which is a good thing.


The 97's came back from hiatus and got back to their roots, too. Gravity was more fun, more loose, more natural than Drag It Up and celebrated the band's longevity with songs like "The One."

I got the Chambers/Nicholson free from the good people at Sugar Hill Records. I've seen Chambers live in concert, and this record is a nice set of duets, a folky bluegrass sound.

TM got the Sheryl Crow record, and accurately described it as scattered and schizophrenic. The first song is a Dylanesque protest song, and it bounces around genres and feels from there.

Edwards' third release builds on Failer Back to Me (got my Edwards out of order --ed.) with more mature songwriting. Features the song that identifies her as a Canadian.

Jenny Lewis was another TM pickup. I liked what little I listened to, but I think I prefer Rabbit Fur Coat.

I stumbled across Tift Merritt somehow, and decided to try Another Country. Good pick by me: this record has warm vocals, catchy melodies and shows more range than her prior record, Tambourine. (Trivial fact: the titular country is France.)

Tift, as seen through the Barbara Walters "soft focus" lens.

The grammatically incorrect She and Him could be passed off as a vanity project from a movie star (Zooey Deschanel of Almost Famous) except for five things: she wrote most of the songs, the songs are good, the covers are impeccable (Smokey Robinson, the Beatles, "Swing Low Sweet Chariot"), the presence of indie god M. Ward keeps it musically interesting and finally, there are no pictures of her anywhere on the packaging.

Dylan: I must admit I've only started listening to this. So far, it's fascinating. Completely different versions of songs released on his last few albums.

Easily the weirdest record of the year was 49:00, which Westerberg released via Amazon download only, for 49 cents. It's a single track, almost 44 minutes long, that contains smatterings of songs that start and stop, random covers, noise, and other loose ends. Then one day the download was no longer available, anywhere.

I haven't listened much to the new Crows, but I like the concept: the first half is songs about all the crazy sinful things you do on Saturday nights, and the second half is about the regret and redemption of the following morning.

Steady. I could spill a thousand words on the Steady. (Of course, I already have.) I absolutely loved Boys and Girls in America and was so excited for the new record. I struggled with the fact that no record would ever be as good as that one. But beyond that, I'm still trying to like Stay Positive. It's growing on me, but it's not there yet.

I think I put my figure on why I didn't like the Steady record: not enough Franz. His keys and accordion are practically invisible.

Josh promised us the new R.E.M. record was good, and it was pretty darn good: a return to the aggressive rock sound they had on Monster and then lost on later records. However, I haven't listened to this record in months, so what does that say for its staying power?

Vetiver opened for Louris at the Metro. This record is slow and moody. Like many bands, it's better live than on record.

The FUV compilation is still in the shrinkwrap. But the lineup looks great: Spektor, Aimee Mann, the Steady, Louris, Bell X1.

Ditto for the XRT comp: Counting Crows, Liz Phair, the Dead, Bob Mould, Mellencamp.

Finally, special mention to Eddie Vedder for his contribution to music in 2008. Vedder met Ernie Banks (I think at Cubs Convention) and Ernie asked him to write a song about the Cubs. As Vedder said at one of his Chicago Theater shows: "If Ernie Banks asks you to write a song, you better write a fucking good song." And so he did: the earnest, hopeful "All the Way." It became an anthem of the late season and (short) playoff run. Maybe we didn't in '08, but someday we'll go all the way.