Pick Six, Week Nine

Pretty quiet, alla round...

The leader (Mr. Q) held onto the "quad-fecta" of the AP Top 4, ruling the leaderboard with an iron paw. Huskers Du put together a nice weekend, with modest gains from Nebraska and Stanford. Finley took a loss from Florida State but the five others all gained, for a week-best net gain of +13. Remember last week when I said the average player dropped four points? Well, you mostly got that back: this week's average score jumped from 63.5 to 67 points.

Who's winning? Of course:


Here are the numbers. As for this Saturday, Alabama-LSU will be a huge game in the SEC ... and the Pick Six game. Almost half the players (15 of 22) have one or the other, with Larry Sparks and My Non-Contention having both.

Elsewhere, Utah-TCU should be a fun game to watch ... if it wasn't on at the same time as Alabama-LSU. I guess this is why you have the two-TV system at your house, right?

Voice of the People

I was surprised, that day in class, when my accounting professor said he felt the most important function in a company is marketing.

This was significant for two reasons. The prof, Ram Ramanan (winner of the 2004 "Best of MPF" award for Best Class), had been known to take good-natured shots at marketing as a discipline, razzing it for being all overlapping circles and pryamids and touchy feely concepts like "brand." The second is that it's uncommon for one member of a team to acknowledge that a different division of the team is more important, or the most important. Of course, all departments have to work in synch for the organization to be successful. But how often do you hear, for example, the running backs coach or the linebackers coach of a college football team admit a different unit is the most crucial to success? (It's the offensive line.)

But over time I've come to realize Ram is right. The core of the company is understanding what the customer wants, and then giving it to them. Finance, accounting, R&D, operations ... they are all important pieces, and the business would fall apart without them. But they are all supporting the mechanism of delivering the goods to the person with the dough (the customer). Even your sales force, often assumed to be the key department, is merely the external-facing group that communicates or delivers the firm's value proposition: not defines and refines it.

This primacy of marketing came to mind when thinking about two incredibly stupid ads recently, and how smart companies will listen to the customer, even after a mistake.

The first is the evocative image of orange drapery falling over icons of the American landscape like the Hoover Dam and the Gateway Arch, to the moody music of Nick Drake.



If you lived in New York City last decade, or if you have a vague awareness of the art world, you probably know of the artist Christo, famous for hanging brightly colored drapery off large things. His "Gates" exhibit in Central Park was by all accounts a smashing success, adding bursts of color to a drab winter cityscape.

Not part of this essay, but I should point out that living in New York City sucks 12 months per year, but moreso in the winter. I can only imagine how this brightened people's shitty days.

You've probably seen before today the ad in question, from AT&T. Many art lovers (and intellectual-property lawyers, probably) asked themselves if Christo had been consulted or compensated.

It appears that AT&T made no effort to reach out to the artist before the ad was filmed. While this was narrow-minded of AT&T, they at least had the sense to add a disclaimer at the end of the ad. The credit to the original artist was added eventually, but not until after the outcry.

A more direct feedback can be seen in the case of the smarmy State Farm guy. What can possibly compete with ducks, lizards and the guy who was the black president on TV before Obama was the black president in real life? How about an obnoxious Tom Cruise lookalike who wanders through cafes and interrupts people?

I can only hope that State Farm read the Slate article, or otherwise heard consumer feeback to create this reponse, where she interrupts him:



Your lesson, Corporate America: Listen to your audience. If you make a dumb ad, pull it and make amends.

Pick Six, Week Eight: Meet the New Boss

Today's (fricking awesome) soundtrack:

You'll figure out why in a minute. Or maybe you already got it figured out.

And with that, here's your Pick Six update.

Big winners: Mizzou got a huge win over over No. 3 Oklahoma, and jumped ahead accordingly. Sadandbritish, as the only player with Mizzou, was poised to take advantange of this, except she also has Oklahoma. Net gain for Sabandbritish: +1.

Big losers: Everyone with the Sooners, Iowa and LSU. All three lost nationally televised games. Larry Sparks had both Oklahoma and LSU, so as mentioned above, he took a hit. Not even Wisconsin's jump could offset those losses. Mo also had the Sooner-Tiger combo, but without any gainers. Both guys dropped 11 points. If you makes any feel any better, last week's average score was 67.5, and 63.5 this week, so collectively, we all kinda bit it.

Wait, what was that about last week's leader? Yeah, Larry took a big hit, opening the door for you-know-who:

"Door" in this case being a flap invented by Isaac Newton.

Larry's one point lead became a commanding 16-point lead for Mr. Q. Go ahead, take a look at the Top 4 ranked teams: Oregon, Boise, Auburn, TCU. Those four share all the No.1 votes cast in the AP Poll ... and yeah, that's two-thirds of the cat's pickset.

As always, the numbers are here. Check out your standings after eight weeks of football.

Other things to note: I predicted that my vanity would kick me in the cosmic ass. And yeah, sure enough, it did. You would think I would have learned my lesson the first time. You know, there’s an old saying in Tennessee——I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee——that says, fool me once, shame on, shame on you. Fool me, you can’t get fooled again.

So no more pick 'em talk for me, only Pick Six.

Looking ahead: Sadandbritish (Mizzou) faces off against all those Huskers: Du, Fan and Larry. Iowa/Michigan State will be watched closely throughout the Midwest, and also by the six players with the Hawkeyes. Florida and Georgia face off in the World's Largest Cocktail Party, probably the most entertaining matchup of non-ranked teams. Oregon should get a strong test from Southern Cal. Meanwhile, everyone with Boise sits back and watches the points roll in. (You all should feel dirty.)

And if you can't wait til Saturday, remember that this week you've got football on Tuesday, Thursday and Friday. Enjoy the games everyone!

Pick Six, Week Seven: A Crack in the Armor

This was a full weekend, but not of college football. So here's an update heavy on the Pick Sixing impact, and light on the national analysis.

And let me just add a clarification: I might have made it sound last week that Ohio does not have technology. That is not true. Ohio has running water, landline telephones and cable TV. They even got the Internets in the Great Internet Boom of the 1990s. I just was at an obligation in a specific place without TV or radio.

Sorry, Ohio.

Big droppers: Lots of Husker fans were hurt by Nebraska laying an egg against Texas. Other teams to bite it, and take the accompanying hit: Ohio State an unreasonable -10, South Carolina -9, Arkansas -9, Florida -4 and out of the poll.

Big winners: Wisconsin, obviously, for toppling #1 Ohio State. Way to go for the six of you. Also, three of the four new entrants to this week's poll are Pick Sixers who started the season ranked. And the fourth, would you believe it, is a Pick Sixth from a dog. A dog picked Mississippi State, because, I assume, they are the Bulldogs. A team picked LAST in the SEC West by Phil Steele. Not that I'm bitter. (On a totally unrelated note, thanks for nothing UConn.)

Enough jibber jabber, is that cat still winning? As you're painfully aware, a housecat has been leading the game almost from the beginning. It's enough to make any person or panda ask "what the fuck."


However, the answer to the all-important question is:


No! I don't have a picture of entrant "Larry Sparks," at least not with his permission (yet). Back in the late 1990s, Larry and I walked on the playing field of Memorial Stadium in Lincoln. I'd love to tell you we were starting players on the team, but in reality we were just visiting town and discovered to our luck that the stadium was unlocked. Not sure where those pictures are today, but just envision Larry on the 50-yard line, cause he's your leader at the halfway point.

He rode the success of Wisky and Utah (his Pick Sixth, now ranked 9th) to jump 17 points and into first place. Meanwhile, the cat paid for the South Carolina and Arkansas losses, dropping 14 points and into second. Your "top dog" is still Piece of Cheese, and probably will be all year, so no more canine updates unless warranted.

And just in case he never sees first place this season, here is a pic of last week's human leader:

Finley. There, you finally made my blog. Now send a pic of Mitzu please.

Okay, one piece of analysis. Coming into the Iowa-Michigan game, the make-or-break matchup seemed to be Iowa's stiff defense (ranked fourth nationally) against Michigan's runaway train offense (ranked third nationally). Iowa was allowing 242.2 yards per game; Meech gaining 533.7 per game.

Their grammar sucks like their defense.

By contrast, Iowa's offense gained 426.4ypg, good for 33rd nationally, and the sieve masquerading as a Big Ten defense allowed 450.7 per game, 112th best in the nation. Against Big Ten-caliber offenses, the sieve gave up 535 (Notre Dame), 568 (Indiana) and 536 yards (Little Brother, aka Mitten State). So you knew Iowa would get their yards. But would Michigan get theirs?

Spelling sucks too.

Short answer: yes. Follow those links today and you'll see the Mitten actually jumped up to third against that vaunted Hawkeye defense. After facing the Denard Robinson (and Tate Forcier) Experience, Iowa's D dropped to 13th. So what does all that mean? When a poorly coached team makes numerous mental and physical mistakes, statistics don't mean spit.

Pick Six, Week Six: Scores and Analysis

The week in football. I have to say it was a pretty good Saturday: Notre Dame won, Michigan lost, Ohio won, and Iowa didn't lose (bye week). So yeah, a pretty good d-- oh crap, now I have that Luce song stuck in my head.

In other news, Alabama lost for the first time in forever. (QB Greg McElroy lost for the first time as a starter since the EIGHTH GRADE.) LSU continued to pull games out of Les Miles' ass. Minnesota lost yet again, and Just Northwestern finally lost for the first time, against a team missing its #1 QB, #1 WR, #1 RB and another WR for good measure.

Onto the Pick Six game!

Florida State dominated yet again. For the non-believers, their four games since the Oklahoma debacle have been 34-10, 31-0, 34-14 and 45-17. Now that's a defense. Ohio State and Oregon also won, and Oklahoma bye'd.

Oklahom--Abide.

Georgia finally won, but I know my chances with them have disappeared like the other half of Drew Carey.

Have you seen this guy lately? Holy shit.

With all that I moved up nine points and four slots--nice, to be sure, but moot as you'll see in a moment.

Around the Top 25: Adios to two of the most hated programs in college football: Real Miami and Meeechigan. The father-daughter team of Sidney and QBKatt are the only two who picked Miami...now that's family togetherness. Sidney is further punished for having any faith in Rich "DickRod" Rodriguez by losing 8 points when the Mitten falls out of the poll.

An oldie but goodie, and totally appropriate after Saturday's beatdown.

Welcome back to two schools: Oregon State (no one has them, so nobody cares, except me, cause Oregon State beat Arizona and I hold a grudge) and West Virginia (3 players gain one point).

Enough jibber jabber. Who's winning? I can just cut and paste this from last week:


In the original Pick Six game, the BGS guys at some point would list the "perfect" pickset, consisting of the highest rankers from each quintile, plus the highest performer from the originally unranked group. Using that as a metric, let's review Quigley's picks again:

A: Boise, 23 (best is Ohio State, 25)
B: TCU, 22 (best)
C: Oregon, 24 (best)
D: Arkansas, 14 (best)
E: Auburn, 19 (best)
F: South Carolina, 16 (best)

Not only did he increase his lead from 11 to 18 points, but his picks, for this week at least, are NEARLY PERFECT. If you're looking for the tequila to drown your sorrows, it's on the top shelf, left side.

"Or behind my butt....just like you in the standings, hah hah!!"

If it matters, your leaders in the other divisions are Finley (Human) and Piece of Cheese (Canine). Remember, that link should be good all year, so go ahead and bookmark it.

This week: Big game for the Hawkeyes as they face Michigan. ND should cruise over MAC-rifice Directional Mitten. Quigley will FINALLY lose some points as Arkansas plays Auburn. (Frrrr is similarly conflicted here.) Finley has both Ohio State and Wisconsin, who play each other. Nebraska plays Texas in a game that sounds better on paper than in reality.

We'll be in Ohio and away from technology, so if you've got a score update, feel free to text me. Enjoy the games!

Quigley's Picks Explained

Part of the fun of adding pets to the Pick Six game is seeing the curious ways our animals choose teams. Sometimes that means wadded up pieces of paper ...


...sometimes it means doing research online ...

"Boise is gonna be good again, right? I'll take Boise."

...or sometimes it means just pounding away at the keyboard randomly.


Sometimes they call a friend for advice...


...and some years, you swear the cat has been drinking.


But this year, it appears ACTUAL FELINE THOUGHT went into the pickset that is leading the 2010 game. I shall now reveal the reasoning behind Quigley's picks, with the help of cat-channeler TinaMarie.

When Quigley submitted his six, his human Tina wrote this comment:

To help promote peace between different groups (be it ethnic factions, religious factions etc.) Mr. Q. (aka Quigley) has decided to prove that animals CAN play nicely in the wilds of college football.

Without further ado, the 2010 Mr. Q all animal team:

1. Boise State Broncos (aka big ass horses)
2. TCU Horned Frogs (aka Kermit's favorite team)
3. Oregon Ducks (Quack!)
4. Arkansas Razorbacks (aka big ass pigs)
5. Auburn Tigers (Grrr... Tigers rule)
6. South Carolina Gamecocks (I guess if you are going to pick two birds a rooster and a duck ain't too bad...)

So there you go. By trying to promote peace in the animal kingdom, he's kicking all the humans' asses. Thanks a lot, Mr. Q.

Pick Six: Week Five Update

A great Week 5, in my opinion. Iowa, Notre Dame and Ohio all won ("and Maryland!!" pipes up my co-author). But enough about the non-Pick Six stuff*. What happened in this week's AP poll?

Big movers: Arizona (way to go Tippy, although I'm sure you are a nice cat I take no joy at your profitting on a team that beat Iowa), Arkansas (nine players have the Hogs), Sparty (no one has them in the game so who cares) and Nevada (ditto).

Going down: Tough conference losses hurt Stanford, Florida and Wisconsin. For Penn State, Texas and USC, ugly losses meant eviction from the poll. That is particularly tough on Boonster, who had both Texas and Penn State.

Moving ... on down in the point totals.

Newcomers: Welcome back Florida State! That's three big points for Larry Sparks and me. And welcome to the poll, Mizzou (sabandbritish).

Enough jibber jabber. Who's winning? Your undisputed leader Week 5 is:


Stanford's loss hurt last week's co-leader Hüskers Dü (I actually went and got those umlauts for you Kelly, instead of just a lazy copy-and-paste), allowing Quigley to open up an 11-point lead. He's got 5 of the top 11 teams. His worst team is South Carolina at No. 19. Only two other players have all six teams ranked (Finley in third place and Larry Sparks in fourth).

Let that sink in for a moment, people: We Are All Losing. To a suburban housecat.

Here's the spreadsheet with the scores. For those of who are you interwebs-savvy, I've changed the filename to "2010p6Standings" and this URL should be consistent for the rest of the game. Feel free to bookmark it or RSS it or "like" it or twit it or whatever the hell your cell phone does.


* -- Okay, one more thing. In my pick 'em game where you pick against the spread, I went 16-5. Keep in mind that Vegas sets the spread to ensure the wagering public will be split 50-50, so anything even slightly above .500 is a good week. I know I am tempting fate but I'm pretty excited. Who else picked Illinois AND Minnesota to cover their spreads?

Oh Boy.

I'm not getting in the middle of this one. All I can do is report the facts:


And the facts are, after one month of football, Mr. Q and Huskers Du are tied atop the standings. Everyone else, read em and weep. Analysis and shit coming later in the week. But for now: it's gonna be a tense week in Madison and Palatine.

Pick Six: Week 4's Quick Picks

It's Thursday morning Friday afternoon already...sigh, and I'm just barely getting caught up with last weekend's football. Wednesday night I sat on the new couch (it is comfy) and checked out all the scores and the latest AP Top 25. But Pitt-Miami kicked off Week 4 last night, and we're going to South Bend tomorrow, so not a lot of time for looking back. Let's talk quick.

For those clamoring for a Pick Six update, here's the upshot: not much happened. The only teams to move more than two slots were Iowa (grrr) and Arizona (double grrr ... wait a minute, that's the same grrr) and Stanford (not good for the Irish). So wherever you were last week, that's probably where you are this week. I'll get my spreadsheet issue sorted out and have an update next week.

Because by Sunday, we should see some big movement. Whereas last week there was only one game between ranked teams (which was obliterated from my memory), this week there are four. At least four ranked teams are going to lose, and probably more. So you'll need to know where you stand, and I will provide.

Week 4 Preview: Things are getting MAC-tastic in the Big Ten. Check out this week's lineup of foes: Akron, Ball State, Bowling Green, Northern Colorado, Northern Illinois, Central Michigan, Eastern Michigan, Temple, Toledo and Austin Peay. Eight of 10 teams in action (Illinois had a MAC snack last week, and in typical Zook fashion almost lost, so they're taking a breather this week) are facing the Little Engine That Could of conferences. That sound you hear is the entire Big Ten fanbase yawning.

This Week It Sucks to Be: a former powerhouse. Florida and Southern California were the dominant programs of the last decade. But in 2010, the voters just don't believe. The Gators opened the preseason at 4, won and dropped to 8, won again and dropped to 10! By winning last week, they jumped all the way up to 9. But the Trojans can top that: Southern Cal has won in three straight weeks ... and dropped in the polls all three weeks (from preseason 14 to 16 to 18 to their current 20). I'm not sure if/when that's ever happened before. Hell, if they keep winning, they'll be out of the poll altogether!

Allrighty, enjoy the games tomorrow. The season is already a quarter over, and by this time tomorrow it will be a third done. But hey, let's focus on the upside: there's 75% (soon to be 67%) of the season left!

Here's hoping the temps drop into the 50s and 60s:

It's almost blanket weather for Quigley cat!

Pick Six: Week Two Update

What happened with your favorite teams this weekend? Of note in the Pick Six universe:

• Oklahoma curb-stomped Florida State, knocking them out of the poll. In other bad news for the ACC, Georgia Tech lost to no-longer-good Kansas, and Virginia Tech lost at home. To James Madison. Who in addition to being dead since 1836, doesn't even play I-A (highest level) football.
• Georgia looked offensively inept against South Carolina, and paid for it with their four points. This is what happens when you play the only early game worth a damn on the biggest Saturday of September: everyone sees you suck.
• Conversely, South Carolina got an unnecessarily large bump (12 spots/points) for that win over UGa (pronounced "Uggg-uhhh" after how they played).
• Other inexplicable jumpers: Auburn for barely beating hapless Mississippi State; LSU for beating the worst team in the SEC; Utah for beating UNLV, who now has two 20+ point losses on the season.

About the only jump that made any damn sense was Oklahoma, who actually beat a ranked opponent.

The other new entries: welcome to Houston, Oregon State, The Hated Mitten, and the Arizona Wildcats, making Saturday's Iowa game the ONLY matchup of ranked teams on the weekend. (Of course ESPN's Gameday will be at Auburn as they face perenial chokers Clemson.)

Enough jibber jabber. Who's winning?


Believe it or not folks, a cat has taken the lead with a whopping 103 points. It's only Week 2, but the peace-loving kitty (his pick rationale will be explained later this season) has Boise, TCU and Oregon, and they're all top 5 this week. The cherry on top is his Arkansas/Auburn/South Carolina combo: that Hillbilly Alley trio are all No. 16 or higher.

If you're wondering about the highest-ranked human being: it's Finley wtih 94 points, Mo and Larry Sparks with 82 points, and at 81 is Bob Mould's old band. No, not Sugar. I'm still having trouble with formatting and Googledocs, but you can see the full spreadsheet here.

Week 3: What to Watch For. Other than me in the bright gold "gameday" shirt at Arizona Stadium? Not much. If your team loses points, you should be worried big-time. After a huge slate last week, no one (besides Iowa and Arizona) faces much of a challenge (unless you believe Georgia will scare Arkansas, and as of about 11:30 am last Saturday, you should not). Expect these scores to hold steady for one more week.

Finally, one piece of house-keeping: Frrrr was denied 1 point for Stanford last week due to a spreadsheet error. That has been corrected, and just in time, too, because Stanford is up to No. 19 (7 points) and that's too much to miss.

I'm going to Arizona this weekend for the Hawkeye game. Hope I don't get thrown in jail (again).

Pick Six 2010: Game On

The Pick Six game is off and running! For those who missed the boat, here's a quick summary:

You divide the AP Top 25 preseason poll into five groupings, pick one team from each, plus one unranked team, with the goal of having the highest ranked teams at the end of the season.

This year we have 22 players, divided into two biological divisions (Human and Feline/Canine). The full list of players and their preseason scores is* here:

The entries have a bit of a Nebraska flavor. Between Husker Du, HuskerFan and "Husker Larry" Sparks, I couldn't help but think of this commercial:



Okay, on with the score update! I hope to make this look prettier in the coming weeks, like the Googledoc above, but for now, feast your eyes on the Week 1 standings:

Team Name Pts.
1 Finley 84
2 Mr. Q 83
3 HuskerFan 82
4 Hüskers Dü 81
5 Piece of Cheese 81
6 Husker Larry 78
7 My Non-Contention 76
8 P. Puff 74
9 Gin-N-Tonic with Extra Lime 74
10 Mo 73
11 Sidney 72
12 MPF004 72
13 Sadandbritish 71
14 Tippy 71
15 QBKatt 70
16 Frrrrrr 59
17 Sodeh 59
18 Art/Arden/Aislinn 55
19 MAC FAN 55
20 The Boonster 53
21 Mitzu 51
22 Team Awesome Excavator 50


Big movers: Finley scored big with five jumpers, led by Utah, who upset Pitt (much to the chagrin of the six Pitt pickers). HuskerFan and Husker Larry also benefitted from the Utah pick to jump into the Top 5. North Carolina also fell out of the poll.

What to watch this weekend: A few players committed a cardinal Pick Six sin of selecting teams that play each other, guaranteeing yourself a loss. QBKatt has both Ohio State and Miami. Larry has Florida State and Oklahoma. And, uh, whoops.

Other than that though, it's going to be a huge day of football. In addition to the above games, you've got Notre Dame vs. Michigan, Iowa vs. Iowa State, Penn St. vs. Alabama, Oregon vs. Tennessee, Georgia (sans A.J. Green) vs. South Carolina. Can you imagine a few years ago that Cal vs. Colorado would be the 7th or 8th best game of Week 2? Hell, even Syracuse/Washington would have been huge in the early 1990s .... now it's an afterthought (MPF thinks about how few readers remember when both Cuse and UDub were good, feels old, has a beer).

Enjoy the games, cheer on your teams, and if you've got a blog, be sure to post your thoughts and/or results. (Don't bother with the Facebook or the Twitter cause I'm not on those.)

* -- Occasional proper grammar use is at the sole discretion of the blog proprietor.

MPF004's Pick Six Revealed

The deadline has passed for the 2010 Pick Six game. I can now reveal my pickset and reasoning.
A: Alabama has nowhere to go but down, and repeating is extremely difficult. I don't trust Boise, and I'm going to pick a Big XII team in the B grouping. So it's Ohio State, who has never let me down in past years, vs. Florida, who is breaking in a new QB (if I called him "Petra" would anybody get the joke?) and a ton of new starters on D. Much like last year, when I felt Alabama could go all the way but I picked against Saban, I'm going to play it close to the (sweater)vest. I think Florida could be in the national championship game, but I'm going with Ohio State.

Mister Conservative.

B: What a stacked bracket. My heart won't let me pick Iowa. I hear Virginia Tech's offense is better, but is it good enough to finish better than 10th? I don't think so. I'm reluctant to pick a non-BCS school here because one loss could plummet them. So it's a good ol' fashioned Big 8 matchup for me. What I saw out of Landry Jones subbing for Sam Bradford makes me pick Oklahoma over Nebraska. Sorry Kelly.

Sorry Herbie.

C: Man this is a tough pick. Southern Cal could go 11-1 or 6-6, and I probably couldn't choose them even if 12-0 was guaranteed. Pitt is the second best team on paper (behind USC), but Wannstache makes Kiffykins look like JoePa. I don't trust Miami ... too uneven. I don't think I can pick Wisconsin. So I guess I got Oregon to repeat in the Pac 10? Unlikely as it is to happen, am I really picking a repeat of the 2010 Rose Bowl? (sigh)

TMMPF.com JPG Hall of Fame Inductee, 2009.

D: This grouping is filled with fool's gold. Georgia Tech lost a ton of talent off a team that got destroyed by Iowa in the Orange Bowl. This No. 16 ranking assumes that the ACC will not figure out the Paul Johnson triple option; I suspect the Wreck is good for 3-4 losses or more. Arkansas has a great QB (Mallett) and an awful D. North Carolina is on the verge of having their NFL-caliber defense suspended for receiving NFL-caliber compensation. Penn State is breaking in a new QB to replace Clark and faces a near-certain loss at Alabama on Sept. 11. So that leaves me with, aw shit, really, Florida State? Oh well. Christian Ponder might be the best QB in the ACC this year. I know Tyrod Taylor and Virginia Tech have had a great run, and I pick against them hesitantly. But FSU it is (I guess). I know WR Forston got kicked off the team, but at least it happened early enough (meaning, in camp) for the team to recover. Let's see how Fisher does in his first year at the helm.

Anybody need a reason to not pick Georgia Tech? Ask Adrian Clayborn.

E: I like Georgia. Not sure why. I just think this might be the year Mark Richt puts it all together, and finds a way to win some of those conference games that have killed them recently. I don't believe this is the year Les Miles puts it all together, I damn sure don't trust Gene Chizik, I can't see West Virginia making a run, and I don't know enough about Oregon State other than the Rodgers brothers. So Gaw-ja it is. Don't let me down this time Dawgs.

Phil gives my pick of Georgia the thumbs-up.

F: The all-important pick sixth. I put a lot of research into this one, because your pick sixth will make or break you. My runners-up were Stanford (great QB, appear to be on the rise, but lost TB Toby Gerhart), Utah (good program, reasonable schedule, but a young QB) and Sparty (on paper the most talent, but c'mon, they're Sparty, they are going to lose a few they shouldn't and finish 7-5). Although history doesn't really repeat itself in college football, I looked at last year's top pick sixth and saw a basketball school kind of come out of nowhere, with an experienced QB, smart head coach, and the right momentum. Several close losses and a bowl win over Steve Spurrier and the Gamecocks the prior year seemed like a pretty good launching pad for the following season. Plus, they don't play ND or Iowa, so no rooting conflicts. After picking California and UCLA the last two years, I'm taking my "C"s to the other sea.


So I'm going with Connecticut as my team to jump from the ranks of the unranked to finish high in 2010, perhaps even upsetting the Wannstache for the Big East championship.

MPF004: Ohio State, Oklahoma, Oregon, Florida State, Georgia, UConn.

Good luck everybody! We'll try to get a participant/score update out early next week.

I hope you picked good teams, ya moran.

Today in Blog History

I wrote this.

Looking back on it, it's funny to see how much disdain there was, with only one season (and one NCAA investigation) under his belt. If anything, that disgust-bordering-on-hate has grown, because when I see him, all I see is a white hillbilly version of Tyrone Willingham: an outsider who JUST FUCKING DOESN'T GET IT, the "it" in this case being the tradition and history of the program he's running right into the ground. (Not that I mind terribly. But they should fail with one of their own, like ND did with Charlie.)

Anyway, to hell with him. I hope he goes 0-12. (Yes, even Massachusetts, Bowling Green and Indiana.)

Return of the Pick Six

While I was busy busting my ass at work, hosting out of town guests and trying to buy a used car, the venerable Associated Press on Saturday released their preseason Top 25 poll.

Let’s just pause a moment from the hecticness of life and acknowledge HOLY SHIT FOOTBALL IS ABOUT TO START.

Happy kitties love football season.

One of my favorite traditions from one of my favorite blogs was the Pick Six game from the now-defunct Blue Gray Sky. The rules are incredibly simple and allow for a season’s worth of fun. Since the guys stopped their blog this spring, I'm going to keep the Pick Six game going in our own little corner of the Internet.

How to play:

Divide the top 25 into 5 groups* of 5 based on the preseason AP Poll: 1-5, 6-10, 11-15, etc. For this year's poll, the groups are:

A - Alabama, Ohio State, Boise State, Florida, Texas
B - Texas Christian, Oklahoma, Nebraska, Iowa, Virginia Tech
C - Oregon, Wisconsin, Miami, Southern Cal, Pittsburgh
D - Georgia Tech, Arkansas, North Carolina, Penn State, Florida State
E - Louisiana State, Auburn, Georgia, Oregon State, West Virginia

(By the way, it is funny to see Iowa was in the same grouping (B, 6-10) in 2005 as they are in the 2010 poll.)

2. You pick one team from each group, plus one unranked team. You're trying to pick the teams you think will finish highest in the final AP poll.

3. Each week I will (try to) update the standings. You get 25 points for having the #1 team, 24 points for the #2 team, on down to 1 point for the #25 team. Unranked teams get zero points.

4. The winner is the person at the end of the year with the most points (best-ranked teams).

The BGS guys gave away a prize. I don’t have a whole BGS team at my disposal, but if I can get 15 adult people (see below) to play, I’ll find and award a prize in the spirit of the original year swag of a 1977 Joe Paterno Coca-Cola Commemorative drink tray.

Booni enters his picks. (Might need Sarah's help.)

How to enter:

Send your picks and your screenname (or real name, if you're not into the whole Internet anonymity thing) to this email address: tmmpf.blog@gmail.com. This ensures I will not see the entries until after the deadline. Picks are due Thursday, September 2, 2010, 6:55pm Central time ((EDIT: 6:25 pm ... games start a half-hour earlier than I thought)), which is before the start of the first game.

One thing that makes our contest great is the inclusion of non-football fans .... and non-people. Our cat has played for two years (here is his 2008 pickset, and his 2009 writeup) in addition to trying his paw at the NCAA brackets. All prognosticating kitties are invited to play the 2010 Pick Six.

Is John Clay healthy? Is Crick really the new Suh? Madison kitties get pensive.

And, this year’s contest is open to children! (Dogs, maybe, if you can make a good case, yes I'm talking to you Donald.) Only disclaimer is: non-sentient beings have to have their picks explained along with the submission. Inquiring minds want to know the "why" behind the picks. Your pickset and rationale may be featured over the course of the season.

Share this link/email with your friends. When it comes to Pick Six, the more the merrier. Good luck!

The Pick Six. So easy .... a Michigan Man can do it.

* -- Quintiles, if you wanna get statistical about it.

Predicting Won-Loss Records (the Easy Way)

I was looking for something else on the blog and stumbled across last year's "Predicting Won-Loss Records (the Easy Way)" and noticed that it was written in early August. It's early August right now, so in my most pragmatic, Midwestern, eatin' at Cracker Barrel voice, I said, "Welp, guess it's 'bout time to write this year's W-L predictions."

As a reminder, it's pretty difficult guess to what any team's final record will be, before a single practice has begun (of course that hasn't stopped the idiots at ESPN from doing exactly that). So instead, I use the great Phil Steele's 2010 College Football Preview as a proxy. I figure teams ought to beat the teams below them, lose to the ones above them, and anyone within a range is a toss-up. Knowing that injuries and upsets will factor in, you have a rough idea of a team's strength compared to who's on the schedule.

Phil has two ranking systems: the preseason Top 40 (prediction of where teams will finish, layers subjective info on top of data) and the Power Poll 120 (team strength in a vacuum, does not consider schedule, computer-driven). And this year, we have rankings from Paul Myerberg's Pre-Snap Read blog, formerly hosted at the New York Times (he is still mid-countdown, hence the question marks for teams yet unrevealed).

Let's start with the Hawkeyes. Coming off an awesome season capped by an Orange Bowl win and the quote of the year, Iowa returns a lot of talent and limited question marks. On paper, the sky's the limit. But what say the rankers?

Rankings

PSR	Team	PP/Preseason
??	Iowa	13 /14
NA	Eastern Illinois	NA / NA
88	Iowa State	76/NA
46	Arizona	23/25
101	Ball State	88/NA
??	Penn State	18/18
37	Michigan	39/37
??	Wisconsin	20/23
51	Michigan State	38/35
77	Indiana	84/NR
42	Northwestern	54/NR
??	Ohio State	2/2
83	Minnesota	79/NR

PSR = Pre-Snap Read. PP=Power Poll.

Both systems agree: the only competition should come from Ohio State, Penn State and Wisconsin. I say SHOULD because they aren't looking at factors like rivalry (Iowa State and Minnesota will be seeking payback) and where/when games are played (like 9:35 Central in the desert of Tucson, Ariz.) But if Stanzi can cut down on interceptions, if the O-line can gel enough to open running lanes, if Clayborn continues to terrorize Division I football ... things are looking good.

As for the first year of the Brian Kelly Era:

Rankings

PSR	Team	PP /Preseason
32	Notre Dame	27/16
65	Purdue	67/NR
37	Michigan	39/37
51	Michigan State	38/35
??	Stanford	24/34
??	Boston College	37/30
29	Pittsburgh	40/27
92	Western Michigan	73/NR
30	Navy	56/48
50	Tulsa	53/NR
??	Utah	44/28
85	Army	99/NR
??	Southern Cal	14 /8

Myerberg has four ranked higher (we don't know how high yet), three toss-ups, and five that appear to be easy wins. ND would have to over-acheive to get to eight wins in that scenario--but that would mean a two-win improvement over last year.

On the other hand, Phil has a reputation for being high on the Irish, and it continues this year. He sees ND just outside the Top 25, with only Stanford and Southern Cal higher. That would be a 10-2 year. Frankly, when it comes to Irish football, I'll believe it when I see it.

Now on the surface you'd think Iowa has the harder schedule: traditional powers Penn State and Ohio State, plus two BCS-level out of conference games in Arizona and Iowa St (they are still in the Big teXIIas conference, right?) But take a closer look at Steele's preseason rankings--his estimation of where teams will END the season, based on factors like talent, opponents, and when you play those opponents. ND has 7 teams on his list, Iowa only 6.

Keep this in mind as the season goes along. We're only four weeks away!

The Old Grey Lady Is Dead to Me

New York Times, you used to be a shining light in journalism. A model of success that everyone in the industry looked up to. I don't know what's happened to you in the last few years: first Jayson Blair, then this brain fart that you managed to make twice.

But this most recent fuckup is unforgivable.

In an article about how the University of Iowa overbooked its freshman class, I see this correction (click for bigger):

It's the Hawkeye State, you arrogant Gotham assholes. If you can't get your facts straight, stay out of "flyover country." We'll be just fine without you.

News Roundup, All-Star Break Version

We just completed the Midsummer Classic. I pulled these All-Star stories off the news wire. --MPF.

All-Star Game 'Counts' for Just 6% of National League
ANAHEIM, Calif. (AP) - Despite Major League Baseball's advertisements that "this time" the All-Star Game "counts," 94% of the victorious National League couldn't care about the exhibition's outcome.

"It counts, huh?" asked Diamondbacks outfielder Chris Young, whose team is 17.5 games out of first place. "Counts for what? I'm pretty sure nothing changes for me."

Marlon Byrd of the Chicago Cubs concurred. "Umm, yeah, our league won. That's nice." Byrd, who drew a walk and scored from first on Brian McCann's double, said he "probably would not" notice the home field advantage of the National League in the 2010 World Series.


Nervous Relatives Checking on Yogi Berra 5 Times a Day
NEW YORK (AP) - Hall of Famer Yogi Berra, age 85, has been receiving near-constant attention from family members in recent days, his neighbors reported.

"No reason," stammered Jodi Weise, 34, granddaughter of the Yankees legend, as she shoved a copy of the New York Daily News with obituaries of Bob Sheppard and George Steinbrenner into her purse. "He's just, you know, my grandpa. And um, he's old. And, you know, we love him."

Other relatives insisted that bad luck does not happen in threes, and that they were going to Yankees Stadium this week "just for the game" and not any pregame ceremonies involving recent losses to the organization.

Berra, when reached for comment, said: "It's ain't over til ... fat lady .... or ... where's that duck, now? Isn't that his line?"


MLB Nicknames Stephen Strasburg 'Lebron'
WASHINGTON (AP) - Commissioner Bud Selig announced Friday that Major League Baseball had decided on "Lebron" as the nickname for Nationals phenom pitcher Stephen Strasburg.

"Everytime I logged on to AOL, my News Alerts kept coming up with Lebron this, Lebron that. This Lebron thing is obviously very hot. And Strasburg is hot." Senior MLB officials said off the record that other nicknames Selig considered were "Twilight," "Britney," "Mad Men" and "BP."

Selig added that the nickname wasn't final, however.

"I need to figure out if it's LEBB-rin, or Leh-BRAWN. And if it's the latter, we need to translate what the bron means in French. This is America's game, after all."

Strasburg, 20, reportedly rolled his eyes when informed by Manager Jim Riggleman and quietly asked, "Can I just go pitch, please?"


Trivia Question During All-Star Game Stumps Girardi
ANAHEIM, Calif. (AP) - Trivia master and baseball commentator Tim McCarver scored another win Tuesday, when he baffled AL Manager Joe Girardi with a question about a player's living arrangements.

"It was great," said McCarver, as he basked in his minor-knowledge supremacy after stumping Girardi, who had been occupied managing in the middle of the All-Star Game. "I asked him who Cliff Lee, now with the Texas Rangers, but previously with the Seattle Mariners, rented a house from while in Seattle. Because, you know, those are both American League teams, and he was the American League manager."

When informed the answer was former Mariner and current Philadelphia Phillie Jamie Moyer, the Yankee skipper said, "Huh."

McCarver declined to ask Girardi a Moyer-related follow-up question, such as who is his famous father-in-law, because, McCarver said, "Everybody knows the answer is Digger Phelps."

Why Harrison Ford Is Awesome (And the Red Eye Sucks)

Yeah, I know I've been quiet for a while. Yeah, the reason is mostly this and I definitely owe you some updates. I'm dippin' my toe back into the Internets with this piece here. Enjoy.

---

For our reader(s) outside Chicago, the Red Eye is a free daily newspaper aimed at stupid people. Now, that's not how they describe it: the paper's mission statement says it reaches "young, urban professionals who are short on time and long on disposable income."

To make sure the target audience doesn't have to think too hard, the articles are nice and short, mostly about bars or celebrities, with a minimum of actual news (economy, oil spill, etc). They don't use big words, and when they talk to celebrities, they don't pry too deep.

Witness this interview from January with Harrison Ford. It opens with this caveat:

If there is anything hard about interviewing Harrison Ford, it’s that the actor has amassed such a varied filmography of legendary highs (“Star Wars,” “Indiana Jones”), genre classics (“Blade Runner,” “The Fugitive”) and some pretty big stinkers (“Firewall”). There are simply too many questions to ask in a 15-minute window.

And this barn-burner of a first question:

Q: Let’s say someone tries to mug you on the street. You’ve got a light saber in one pocket and a whip in the other. Which do you go for?

A: [quiet laugh] I don’t know where to go with that. I think I would run away. As usual.

Q: What do you mean as usual?

A: Well, I mean I’m reaching deep into the depths of my soul and I’m telling you that I’m not playing a guy with a whip or a light saber if somebody’s trying to mug me on the street. It’s not a character; it’s just self-defense. Well, the character choice I would be making is ... You’re asking me, and I would tell you I would run away.

And yet, the Red Eye Guy came back to the issue later. Luckily, Ford was ready.

Q: You have a reputation of being a private guy. Why?

A: Because I am.

Q: Has anyone asked you anything that totally crossed the line?

A: Yeah.

Q: What’s the last thing?

A: Uh, it had something to do with a light saber and a whip.

And yet, if presented with intelligent questions, Ford is more than happy to offer intelligent responses. Tasha Robinson of The Onion's A.V. Club managed to both broach the issue of touchy interviews, and conduct a thoroughly readable Q-and-A.

The first exchange was:

The A.V. Club: You have a reputation for hating doing publicity interviews. Does having that out front help? Do you think it makes people approach you any differently?

Harrison Ford: I didn’t know that I had that reputation. I think that was something that—obviously you’ve done your research, but I think I was characterized that way early on in my career, and it stuck. I don’t mind doing interviews. I don’t mind answering thoughtful questions. But I’m not thrilled about answering questions like “If you were being mugged, and you had a lightsaber in one pocket and a whip in the other, which would you use?”

That line alone makes up for the over-the-top bellowing of "I ALREADY WORK AROUND THE CLOCK!" (which unfortunately, did not take off as a catchphrase quite like I'd hoped.)

TMMPF News Flash!

Hey look what we did last week:


That's right, we bought a house! In the suburbs!!


So anyway, that's the update from here. We'll try to keep you posted on our progress as we move in etc.

In the meantime here's hoping our new furniture is nicer than pictured here:

The Voice of Baseball

I was 14 years old when I first met Ernie Harwell. It was a day that would ultimately shape my future – a strange statement considering he was a hall-of fame baseball broadcaster and I was a skinny junior high kid from rural Ohio.

The event was a book signing at a Toledo department store. I was awed by Ernie. He was so genuine, you just wanted to pull up a chair and listen to him talk. His voice was intoxicating. Even at 14 I sensed that Ernie was something special. There seemed to be an aura about him, I can’t explain it but it made you want to be a better person.

Michael John and Tina With Ernie Harwell, circa 1991.

Like many Detroit fans, I grew up listening to Ernie call Tiger baseball. The "Voice of Summer" they dubbed him, he of the faint southern drawl and whimsical storytelling. I loved closing my eyes and listening to Ernie as I fell asleep. "He stood there like a house by the side of the road and watched that one go by", he used to say. I loved how a homerun was "loooooong gone" whether it was in the first row or the last.

Ernie always had an interesting story to share… but it never disrupted the flow of the game. He’d talk about Lulu (his wife) or of days gone by. Sometimes he’d tell a story you’d heard a million times, yet you were at the edge of your seat waiting to see how it ended.

But if you ask me, one of the best things about Ernie was how well he knew baseball. Between all the stories, all the laughter, he always managed to tell you the score, or the pitch count, or who was on deck right when you needed to know. Ernie loved baseball unconditionally, and it is one of the many reasons why I loved him.

My first face to face encounter with Ernie was around the time when the Tigers fired him. It was a tumultuous time for Tiger fans and baseball in general. Oddly enough I had recently written a paper for a junior high English class about the fate of Ernie. I took a copy with me to the book signing and gave it to him. A few weeks later I received a handwritten letter in the mail. He thanked me for my support and wished me luck in school. I still have that letter.

The next summer I wrote an essay about Ernie in response to a contest in the USA Today publication Baseball Weekly. They wanted kids to tell them who their favorite baseball announcer was and why. Now in the 8th grade, I had firmly set my sights on a journalism degree (assuming I made it through high school) and told the editors of Baseball Weekly all about my first meeting with Ernie and how I wanted to follow in his footsteps.

Baseball Weekly liked my story. Before I could comprehend what was happening, a reporter called to interview me for a feature article. We talked about Ernie, about my ambitions and about the possibility of the Tigers building a new stadium (I was against it). The article was published along with a photo of my brother, Ernie and I at the book signing.

Now, back in those days you were able to walk up behind the press box at Tiger Stadium nearly all the way to the broadcast booth. So the next time we were in Detroit, I took a copy of the Baseball Weekly article with the intention of giving it to the security guard to give to Ernie.

Mom and I trekked up to the stairs to the press box and, after chatting with guard, showed him the article. I asked the guard if he would mind giving it to Ernie. The guard looked at the article and asked us to wait a moment. He went into the booth and then came back out and said "would you like to give it to Ernie yourself?"

And then he escorted us inside.

It was a surreal moment. We were in the famous Tiger Stadium broadcast booth. It was so close to the field you could feel the game (and it was only batting practice). We stood in shocked silence as Ernie cheerfully came in to say hello.

He was, as you can imagine, very gracious. So gracious in fact he tried to find something to give us as a thank you for listening. Eventually he came up with a copy of a cassette tape documenting his "greatest hits". It was just another example of how classy Ernie was.

Time went on. I graduated high school and went on to study journalism at Ohio University. As a freshman I entered the broadcast news program with every intention of someday fulfilling my dream of becoming the next Ernie Harwell. I soon learned, however, that radio and I didn’t mix. I missed writing and, quite frankly, was better at it. So I switched to magazine writing and eventually earned a Bachelor of Science in Journalism.

I last spoke to Ernie during my senior year of college. Dad and I went to Florida over spring break to catch some Tiger spring training games. Once again I made my way up to the broadcast booth. This time I came empty handed, no essays or newspaper articles, but I wanted to tell Ernie thank you. It seemed the journey I was about to complete was just as much his doing as it was mine.

As always Ernie was a class act. I’m sure he had no idea who I was, but when I re-introduced myself he was very pleased to see me and honestly interested in what I was doing. Always the gentleman, Ernie also introduced me to his handpicked successor in the Tiger broadcast booth. It was a neat moment and probably not unlike that of many other Detroit Tiger fans.

With Ernie at spring training, 2000.

Ernie passed away this week after a long battle with cancer. He was 92 years young. His death wasn’t unexpected (he famously said goodbye to Tiger fans last year) and he hasn’t been in the booth full time in several years… yet it’s unimaginable to think of Tiger baseball without Ernie Harwell.

His kindness touched the lives of many, and I don't think it's a stretch to say that Ernie was a great baseball broadcaster but an even better man.

You may be long gone Mr. Harwell, but you will not be long forgotten.